crumpet burner

Someone who makes it their main purpose to ruin the fun for everyone else.

Look at that crumpet burner pop that kids balloon

by Toshir0z January 12, 2015

Crumpet Bumper

A person who prefers to engage in sexual activities with an older woman

"Cory really seems to be into older women"
"Ya, he's a real crumpet bumper"

by AnAverageNormalEveryDayGuy March 20, 2024

Crumpeting

When you shove a warm, buttered crumpet up your arsehole.

Last week I caught Bogdan Crumpeting.

by Lord Pervert of Shittingswell November 18, 2023

Crumpet

Word to describe/classify your stereotypical British fucks, who are incredibly annoying, narcissistic, and like to kiss ass. They're the type of people to eat incredibly flavorless food like un-buttered stale crumpets or scones that just tastes like flour, living up to the stereotype that white people have flavorless food. They also use incredibly annoying vocabulary and like to pick on other people a lot. A disgrace to the entire British nation.

Example:

A: Hey did hear what Elizabeth said in class?
B: I know she's such a fucking scone.

Or..

A: THIS FUCKING CRUMPET KEEPS TRYING TO GET ME INTO TROUBLE
B: I have a fair share of scones in my class too don't worry about it...

by greasy krispey and sexy May 24, 2018

Buttering the Crumpets

When you cum while pooping at the same time and the cum is spread on the poop before it hits the water. The penis may also be used as a buttering knife.

Yo' Derek what are you going to do later?
Probably just go home, drink a few beers, and try to butter the crumpets again.
What? Yo, buttering the crumpets is easier when you don't drink.

by poopbutter August 21, 2013

penis crumpet

Penis Crumpet:
When one ejaculates from their erect penis so hard, it shrivels and flattens. This will only occur when overstimulation takes place, after many orgasms.

“I came so hard, now I have a penis crumpet”
“Maybe you should go to a doctor, Jim.”

by Dr. Digbick September 29, 2018

rubbish crumpet

Pseudo-british term for the anus, especially in the context of Anilingus.

My dear would you be so kind as to allow lingual stimulation of your rubbish crumpet?

by hbright December 18, 2024