Cats

The cuddliest and best of God’s creatures. They love us, demand of us, and they even protect our children, whom they consider part of their pack. They helped the human race evolve from hunter/gatherers to static builders of civilization by protecting our grain stock from mice, so humanity didn’t have to continuously be on the move. They were critically important to the progress of humanity and were even worshiped in ancient Egypt as gods. The mass murder of cats in the Middle Ages as a result of the pope declaring them all to be evil allowed the rat population to explode bringing with them the bubonic plague, which spread uncontrollably. Two-thirds of the population of Europe and North Africa died in the most catastrophic event in human history. Eventually people started to notice that towns which protected cats didn’t suffer from mass death and disease and cats became cool again. Now, hundreds of years later, humanity has gone back to worshiping cats, having learned it’s lesson which is: don’t fvck with god’s chosen creatures 🐱 🐈 ⬛
For the first time in world history, cats are now in more homes than dogs.
by JamieRhymie August 27, 2022
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Cat

A majestic animal that romes your house at 3 in the morning, knocking over shit and making loud noises to wake you the fuck up. They sleep eveywhere and have all the hatred in the world towards you even though you bust your ass to feed them whenever they keep meowing and will not shut the fuck up.
Cat: *knocks something over at 4 in the morning
Cats Owner : *cleans up the mess while the cat stands there and watches
Cat: *follows owner back up and constantly meows until you feed it
by bm1740 February 16, 2017
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Cat

A small furry mammal that meows and likes sleeping.
The cat took a nap on the windowsill, looking outside onto a foggy forest on a rainy day.
by Piper the Cat March 05, 2013
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Cat

The cutest animal to live besides for frogs. Cats r lik capybaras because they can bust their coochie on almost anything. They will be so fucking annoying when the shit all over the ground. They like to eat ass. They r pussys. Dumbass animae weebs terned cats into fucking animae. That is NOT ok. Cats need to be fucking world leaders and shit. There ar lots of different cat colors - shit, white, black, mix. Cat also lik to eat your meat. Lesson - GET A FUCKING CAT U BITCH!
Wow! That cat was eating leon’s fucking meat last night!
by FAUBCOK February 11, 2022
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CAT

the cat has 4 legges
by BOB the bilder February 17, 2015
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cat

A cat is a furry asshole who could care less about your feelings. They intentionally ignore you. The only way to get to a cats heart is to give them salami, tuna, or other meats of some sort. Humans call fat cats chonky. cats are also all over the internet. People record their cats doing weird things. Cats may be mean but they are cute. there is a saying, if you give a cat salami he'll be your homie and of course its true. cats may be mean but we love them and one day hopefully they will love us back.
My cat just scratched me but i forgive him because he ate a big bug. Never mind he just threw up on my carpet.
by loovserxlovxer April 03, 2020
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Cat

An evil force that lies under a gorgeous and cute body. Whilst we think we are the superior species of the world little do we know that the cats are playing with us like we are putty. One day will strike and take over the world.
A. Is your cat umm sleeping on your gun
B. Dude don't stress it he's just a cat
Cat. Bloody retarded humans, how stupid can you get.
by Yo I am an owl December 03, 2016
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