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critter

a little guy with big 'ole eyes and a big shoes
guy: "hey, what is that?!"
girl no.1: "what is what"
guy: "that drawing! the little guy with eyes and shoes so big!"
girl no. 2 sprints up to girl no. 1 and guy
girl no. 2:" You seriously don't know what that is? Is your brain so hollow you fail to comprehend the existence of such a simple, yet complex, creature!? You disgust me. You should be ashamed to ever show your face in public again! Whenever you walk outside, looking at the blue sky and beautiful clouds, thinking of the lovely day ahead, I hope you are reminded that you never deserved that peaceful moment for the absolute horrid thing that you will never get away from. I hope, no, I know that you will feel like John Mayer on July 7, 2023 when you do such as ponder about the world beyond the cave full of rats and appalling smells you live in. You should be ashamed for not recognizing the delightful image girl no. 1 drew so carefully on the canvas in front of you."
guy pauses, thinking of a way to react. it doesn't matter, girl no. 1 speaks up.
girl no. 1 "that was hot"

In the end, girl no. 1 and girl no. 2 married each other just a few days after the incident. Their wedding cake was shaped as none-other than critter himself. We don't know what happened to guy. But, we don't really care.
by tableclothsmeller68 May 30, 2023
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lampshade critter

people typically called izzie who tend to be commonly located around lampshades of any sort- earning them the dubious nickname of ‘lampshades critters’. They’re often found under lampshades as to hide their ao3 reading history.
person 1: oh! theres a lampshade critter in the corner of my eye, i wonder whats it doing..?
person 2: yeah!! i think its reading a carcar fic…
person 1: why do you know that? youre such a lampshade critter!!
by lampshadecritterlover3 May 6, 2025
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Critter

Similar to homie, critter is a word used to describe acquaintances and companions, but only those of the spooky variety.
Me and the critters were haunting the playground the other. We scared the heebiejeebies out the little wankers fucking down there.
by Warble808 May 18, 2023
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critter cruising

Attempting to make inappropriate sexual advances towards a minor
Person 1: “Hey, did you see that guy hanging around the school gate during recess?”
Person 2: “Yeah, he seemed creepy. I think he might be planning on critter cruising. Should we tell the police?"
by Purplax May 9, 2024
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