Pettin’ the Turtle

A situation when one takes an incomplete shit, leaving a protruding “turtle head” behind. The shitter then must pet the lodged turtle head approximately 70 times with toilet paper or moist wipes, shitter’s choice of course.

Mary was pettin’ the turtle for a solid hour after the lunch special at Benihana.

by Daddylongdick813 October 30, 2019

Turtles

something the vsco girls need you to save. go buy a metal straws instead of plastic ones.

Sarah: omg, Jessica is that a plastic straw??
Jessica: I-I could explain-
Sarah: YOU HAVE TO SAVE THE MF TURTLES!!!

by Anji🤧🥴 November 4, 2019

wet turtle

When you must fart and suspect it's only gas but instead a wet blob of poop blasts into your to trousers, the poop was hard on the inside but had a shield of poo juice around it, the whole poop is yellow or green so it looks like a liquified turtle 🐢 which is rather upsetting and embarrassing...

Man in Restaurant: 'Hey babe look out imma rip a silent but violent right quick while no one's looking.'
Woman in Restaurant: 'Ok bae let er rip!'
Man in Restaurant: 'ah fuck babe now I gotta run home and change pants I blasted a wet turtle and it's messy!'

by Stankbiscuits November 21, 2021

Turtles

Is a derogatory term for male hoes

“Fuckin turtles bruh”

by sprinklesfortinkles November 3, 2021

dancing turtle

Axoltol minecraft

that dancing turtle is very not ok

by turtlemangirlbye November 5, 2021

Meow-Turtle

A turtle with a cat tail and face.
One of the most beautiful creations and a fun word to say

Yo did you see that meow-turtle drawing is so cute.

by Rawr 😌 November 10, 2021

turtle

fat shithead

me: fatfucker turtle ate my cherios today
person: ok

by KiwiTheTabbyz October 4, 2021