mojo wank

having a wank pre-booty call to up your stamina for the main round.

mate 1: what are you doing?

mate 2: having a mojo wank before fanny comes over

by diddly dingbat October 21, 2015

a nigel danger wank

Nigel was in his bedroom and he shouted downstairs, Mum(deceased and rotten) call the fucking police there's a madman with a set of steak knives hacking me to pieces. As soon as nigel heard her scream he dropped his trousers and commenced the danger wank. As nigel heard mummy stomp up the stairs nigel knew he had to be quick so he upped the pace, as nigel heard her stumble on the top step, which bought him some time. Unfortunately nigel timed his finish badly. As nigels mum barged through the door armed with a rolling pin nigel chugged all over mummy. nigel spent the evening in A&E with concusion.

a nigel danger wank job

by mrs tosser October 6, 2025

whizz wank

Where you wank at an extremely fast speed

'im just off for a whizz wank, im done :D'

by ninjaabill December 21, 2009

Wank Tag

The act of cumming on to a polaroid picture of a femail

Duuuude I totally wank Tagged Jessica last night.

by Plasma Sonico Boom May 17, 2020

squid wanking

Literally an example of doing nothing to help in a team based game

Hurry up, stop squid wanking in the corner!

by SuplexTheWeak June 14, 2020

Irish wank

Placing one's penis inside a cooked and hollowed out potato. The potato is Ireland's biggest crop, and due to a shortage of eligible women in rural locations, men have taken to placing their erect penises inside potatoes in order to release the inevitable sexual frustration arising from such a situation.

Seamus hasn't had a girlfriend in 20 years. Now he spends most evenings engaging in an Irish wank.

by IrishGypsyDan April 21, 2018

EW (Executive wank)

Knocking one off at work on company time and hence being paid to do so.

Haven’t seen Ro at his desk for a while, he must have ducked off for an EW (Executive Wank) after we had that chat about boobs

by Executive Shitter May 20, 2025