Amish alarm clock

Getting so fucked up that you pass out and your buddies make a farm animal shit on your head.

Dan got so smashed that we had a cow give him an Amish alarm clock.

by Ďëřpďèřp August 26, 2025

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Thailand Alarm Clock

Waking up in the morning to a surprise rimjob from a significant other

“Dude, my girlfriend woke me up with a Thailand Alarm Clock this morning!”

by ar18enjoyer March 12, 2024

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Military Alarm Clock

Walking into someone's room while they're sleeping with a frying pan in one hand and a wooden spoon in the other hand and proceeding to bang them together whilst inside the room.

#1: Hey bro you look tired.
#2: Yeah. My sister gave me a military alarm clock this morning.

by bossofpiza November 22, 2016

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A sexual act closely related to a handjob. The receiver positions themselves so his phallus is accessible. At precisely the top of the hour, a partner grasps the receiver’s phallus and yanks on it with the force equivalent to the bell-ringers at Big Ben. This is succeeded by a shriek of either happiness or pain from the receiver. The amount of tugs depends on the time at the top of the hour. Dubbed “The Westminster Alarm Clock” due to Hugh Lupus Grosvenor, the Duke of Westminster, having the act performed on him prior to the construction of Big Ben. Disgruntled neighbors typically awoke to 8 loud evenly spaced shrieks each morning.

Gina: What time is it?
Colin: Noon. Why?
Gina: No reason…
Colin: AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH!
Charlie: Sounds like Colin is getting one hell of a Westminster Alarm Clock. Oh shit! It’s noon! I’m gonna be late for that lunch date!

by TESTICLETWISTER October 13, 2024

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