spooky boner

when a man sees something that his brain can't choose whether the image is arousing and terrifying, so his penis gets erect out of fear and arousal.

dude 1: when I googled thicc aliens last night I wasn't sure whether to be scared or aroused.
dude 2: well what happened?
dude 1: I got a spooky boner

by ProbablyADegenerate September 6, 2020

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criminal boner

Dick so good it should be a crime. Usually forged through the crucible of thots, cum dumpsters and fuck buckets.

Want her to pay your bills? Give her the criminal boner.

by lanimirC renoB October 1, 2019

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boner mechanic

Somebody who works on or fixes a boner

Went to see the boner mechanic last night, she worked on my cock.

by ThePanzyPanda November 28, 2018

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Cheese boner

A penis with a yeast infection

I wouldn't have sex with him, he has a cheese boner.

by StellaPhez November 24, 2013

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Similar to a stealth bomber, this is when a male attempts to hide his erection from others. Depending on the intensity of the erection, the size of the male's penis, and the clothes he is wearing, the male may go about a stealth boner in several ways:the most common is to stick his penis upwardly flat against his abdomen using his pants to hold it down. If the erection is only mild in intensity, he may try and hold the erection against his thigh in his pant leg. Attempting to have a stealth boner is exponentially more difficult whilst wearing gym shorts and/or no shirt. Most men grow increasingly adept at using stealth boners since the onset of puberty.

Mike 2: Dude I gotta go talk to one of the director's but that hot audit chick gave me a raging stiffy...what do I do???
Mike 1: Just walk in with a stealth boner dumbass!

by Mike and Mike the Accountants June 9, 2017

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