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blowtorch my turtle 

To cover her back with cum as she is curled in a ball on the ground hiding her head and limbs.
I really want Jimmy and his friends to blowtorch my turtle after we are done with the gang bang.

Pinch a turtle 

- "Hey Jeff, wanna get some burgers?"
- "Sure, just let me go pinch a turtle before"
- "you're grose bro"
Pinch a turtle by turd_muffin November 10, 2017

Two dollar turtle sundae 

When two individuals otherwise unknown to each other hook up via a Facebook comment feed and later meet to get their nuts fudgey.
I never knew what I was missing until I has a two dollar turtle sundae.

two dollar turtle sundae 

When two individuals otherwise strangers hook up via a Facebook comment feed and agree to meet to get their nuts fudgey.
I never knew why I was on Facebook until my first two dollar turtle sundae.

big headed turtle 

Much like the big headed turtle, this term describes a big headed and small minded member of an older generation that is going extinct. The big headed turtle is a member of an older generation that has no interest in updating their knowledge of the world, only reads biased articles, belittles issues of millennials that he/she has never faced or researched, ferociously holds the baton on Facebook for insensitive propaganda, instigates and incites arguments for joy, does not know how to check sources for accuracy, and denies being racist/homophobic/sexist while supporting racist/homophobic/sexist ideals. Enjoys, coincidentally, calling others bigots while in fact being a bigot.
This big headed turtle posted a picture of millennials crying, affected by the deaths in the Florida shooting, stating that millennials only problems are "getting offended and protesting ridiculous causes."

Thank goodness big headed turtles are going extinct. One told me he isn't racist, but will not hire African Americans because of "how they get."

My big headed boss turtle inappropriately grabbed me at a company party, then told me, "Men don't get assaulted, they get complimented or fired."
big headed turtle by lolweird February 25, 2018

eat a turtle 

literally just eating a turtle because you're not a vegan or vegetarian, or not normal.