Nigel was in his bedroom and he shouted downstairs, Mum(deceased and rotten) call the fucking police there's a madman with a set of steak knives hacking me to pieces. As soon as nigel heard her scream he dropped his trousers and commenced the danger wank. As nigel heard mummy stomp up the stairs nigel knew he had to be quick so he upped the pace, as nigel heard her stumble on the top step, which bought him some time. Unfortunately nigel timed his finish badly. As nigels mum barged through the door armed with a rolling pin nigel chugged all over mummy. nigel spent the evening in A&E with concusion.
by mrs tosser October 6, 2025
Get the a nigel danger wankmug. A 6'2 Lexington cornerback/receiver who gets mad at females. He has a hot little brother named Rayaan who looks up to him and aspires to be half as great as he is, yet he never admits it. Has numerous offers from D1 colleges such as Alabama, Duke, North Carolina, Penn State, and Clemson. Rayaan has multiple girlfriends just like nigel and is d1 in basketball just like his big bro in football. Rayaan and Nigel have countless 2mans lined up and prefer big booty latinas. LADIES HIT THEM UP!!!
I wish i was nigel
Nigel is so cool
Nigel is a lock up corner nbs...
Nigel and Rayaans 2man looks crispy asf.
Nigel is so cool
Nigel is a lock up corner nbs...
Nigel and Rayaans 2man looks crispy asf.
by KlM K May 19, 2023
Get the Nigelmug. To deliver an oversized mechanic’s index finger into the naughty balloon knot of your lover as she bends over to pick up your shooting brogues.
“Carol my dear, would you mind awfully grabbing my shooting attire from the back door and placing them on the drying rack for me”
“of course not Nigel my darling…..……JESUS CHRIST!! Is that your finger or a coke can that’s just tickled my spleen from the basement entrance?!?! It felt like someone just used me as a guitar case.”
“Oh Carol, you do make me laugh. I just saw your delightful rear end calling to me through that Cath Kitson dress and I felt compelled to deliver a good old Dirty Nigel to you bum-hoolio. Love you”
“Love you too you cheeky monkey”
“of course not Nigel my darling…..……JESUS CHRIST!! Is that your finger or a coke can that’s just tickled my spleen from the basement entrance?!?! It felt like someone just used me as a guitar case.”
“Oh Carol, you do make me laugh. I just saw your delightful rear end calling to me through that Cath Kitson dress and I felt compelled to deliver a good old Dirty Nigel to you bum-hoolio. Love you”
“Love you too you cheeky monkey”
by Rachel1980 August 9, 2025
Get the Dirty Nigelmug. Nigel is a true chad😎, he can beat Louie in every way possible.
He is the best there is.
The best there was.
And the best there ever will be.
He is the best there is.
The best there was.
And the best there ever will be.
Nigel is so awesome
by A true chad November 23, 2021
Get the Nigelmug. When you fancy a few beverages (Beveraaaage) you can have a Nigel Farage, shortened simply to a cheeky "Nigel".
by BernardMatthews April 23, 2019
Get the Nigelmug. by Flynigelfly January 2, 2024
Get the Nigel swoopmug. To appear in the pub moments after a round had been paid for so as to avoid purchasing a beverage other than one’s own.
A pub full of people with full pints- in walks Nigel (who’s covertly been doing laps of the pub and window gazing so as to bide his time and know when to enter in order to minimise round cost).
Should a person enter a public house the moment a round has been acquired it’s colloquially known as “doing a nigel”
The tight, long necked cunt.
Should a person enter a public house the moment a round has been acquired it’s colloquially known as “doing a nigel”
The tight, long necked cunt.
by Mccraque December 14, 2018
Get the Nigelmug.