awkward mittens

level 2 in the "Levels of Awkward". Mittens are just a little bit more awkward then turtles. I mean, think about it...essentially, you're left with one giant, flipper-like finger, and then a thumb, just kinda hanging out there in space. Awkward mittens is done by holding your hands up, facing out, with all the fingers together, and spinning the thumbs.

An example of an awkward mittens moment:

When your friend sees a picture of you and says, "Wow...you didn't have to make yourself look more ugly then you already are."

by SMM Youth Group July 3, 2007

Manhood Mitten

Any thing worn over the cock and balls, usually a sock

Guy 1: this nudist colony is a great idea
Guy 2: yeah, but its frezzin' balls out here
Guy 1: Its alright, have manhood mittens for everyone!

by Ass-Jackson March 28, 2011

Clit mitten

Clit mitten is the clitorises equivalent to the labia meat curtains. Clit mitten is a extremely large clitoris that usually hangs down and covers the labia.

That bitch had a huge clit mitten, but i bet it kept her warm on a cold day.

by Shadamsssss December 29, 2011

Squishy Mitten

The act of inserting one's penis into the rectum of a female while simultaneously inserting his testicles into her vagina.

That bitch was down to do some freak shit, so we tried out the squishy mitten.

by Butternut Busting June 11, 2014

Meat Mittens

The act of putting one of your hands up a girl's pussy, and the other up her asshole.

Barbara and I have a mutualistic relationship when we Meat Mittens during the winter time.

by AlimonyBob October 27, 2015

Mustard Mitten

When you and a friend (or complete stranger depending on your level of depravity) hold hands below a public bathroom stall divider while urinating simultaneously.

Oh man I just had a mustard mitten three way with Shelley and Karen. It was liberating.

by The Mustard Mitten October 18, 2019

mixed mittens

Mixed mittens is a way of stating that you're smitten, without having to admit that you're that taken with a person. It comes from mixing the letters in the word 'smitten'.

Ever since they danced together last night, Charlie has been entirely mixed mittens over Mara.

by Rivieres April 30, 2007