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Granola Crayola

A person who dresses like a camp counselor, lives in Denver, Colorado, or dresses suspiciously close to Dora the Explorer.
by sugarglider333 August 15, 2025
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Finance Granola

A person who works in a white-collar, often finance or corporate environment, yet maintains a distinctly outdoorsy, health-conscious, or minimalist lifestyle. They thrive in the city and take advantage of its amenities — trendy coffee shops, boutique gyms, Whole Foods — but on weekends they’re hiking, climbing, or van camping. Think Patagonia vest by weekday, Patagonia puffer by weekend.
Sammy is climbing after work while easting a sea oil free tuna sandwich, he's so finance granola.
by FG Buff November 11, 2025
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Finance Granola

Finance Granola (noun):
A person who works in a white-collar, often finance or corporate environment, yet maintains a distinctly outdoorsy, health-conscious, or minimalist lifestyle. They thrive in the city and take advantage of its amenities — trendy coffee shops, boutique gyms, Whole Foods — but on weekends they’re hiking, climbing, or van camping. Think Patagonia vest by weekday, Patagonia puffer by weekend.
Sammy’s a total finance granola; spreadsheets during the week, trailheads on the weekend.
by FG Buff November 11, 2025
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Granola Sunrise

When you are having sex with someone from behind, pull out, and jizz in their hair without telling them about it. Then, in the morning when they wake up and run their fingers through their hair, and run into the crunchy, crusty, and clumpy mess, and say “what the hell is this”, you point and loudly yell “Granola Sunrise!!”
I gave my wife a Granola Sunrise last Saturday. Been sleeping in the garage ever since. Totally worth it.
by Distracted Cosmonaut June 9, 2024
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Granola Gobbler

n. One who pursues the outdoors with unnecessary zeal.
* "Did you hear the cry of that rare native bird?"

"No, out of my way granola gobbler"

* "I need my $700 boots, walking poles, gaiters and goretex before I even think of walking up that hill."

"Hmm. You're a fucking granola gobbler"

* "Dude, nice polypropylene leggings. I didn't know you were such a granola gobbler"

* "Granola gobbler!"
by anonymous January 17, 2026
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