I wouldn't piss on him if he was on fire

phrase describing a male person that you extremely dislike

My boss is a real asshole. I wouldn't piss on him if he was on fire.

by Studly Hungwell November 8, 2008

My name is Walter Hartwell White. I live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104. This is my confession. If you're watching this tape, I'm probably dead- murdered by my brother-in-law, Hank Schrader.

My name is Walter Hartwell White. I live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104. This is my confession. If you're watching this tape, I'm probably dead- murdered by my brother-in-law, Hank Schrader. Hank has been building a meth empire for over a year now, and using me as his chemist. Shortly after my 50th birthday, he asked that I use my chemistry knowledge to cook methamphetamine, which he would then sell using connections that he made through his career with the DEA. I was... astounded. I... I always thought Hank was a very moral man, and I was particularly vulnerable at the time - something he knew and took advantage of. I was reeling from a cancer diagnosis that was poised to bankrupt my family. Hank took me in on a ride-along and showed me just how much money even a small meth operation could make. And I was weak. I didn't want my family to go into financial ruin, so I agreed. Hank had a partner, a businessman named Gustavo Fring. Hank sold me into servitude to this man.

My name is Walter Hartwell White. I live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104. This is my confession. If you're watching this tape, I'm probably dead- murdered by my brother-in-law, Hank Schrader. Hank has been building a meth empire for over a year now, and using me as his chemist. Shortly after my 50th birthday, he asked that I use my chemistry knowledge to cook methamphetamine, which he would then sell using connections that he made through his career with the DEA. I was... astounded. I... I always thought Hank was a very moral man, and I was particularly vulnerable at the time - something he knew and took advantage of. I was reeling from a cancer diagnosis that was poised to bankrupt my family. Hank took me in on a ride-along and showed me just how much money even a small meth operation could make. And I was weak. I didn't want my family to go into financial ruin, so I agreed. Hank had a partner, a businessman named Gustavo Fring. Hank sold me into servitude to this man.

by biggestbafoonbingus69 June 4, 2023

if she were naughty, I would spank her

Phrase most popular in the late 90s and early 2000s; guys would say this to each other to express that a woman was physically attractive. Rarely used nowadays, and even then only by people 30-50 yrs old.

"Hey, John. Do you think Jane at Sam Goody is cute?"
"G'yeah... if she were naughty, I would spank her."

by The Rev NG8 August 5, 2018

If you know what I mean

A common phrase, that if added to the end of any simple sentance, can make it sound dirty.

I'm gonna go scuba diving tonight, if you know what I mean.

I'm gonna make the bed, if you know what I mean.

We paid the bills the other day, if you know what I mean.

by Samantha May 9, 2004

if there's hair... i'm there

a variation to "if there's grass on the field play ball."

Jim: Hey man, what do you think about the new crop of freshmen girls? They're looking younger every year.

Howie: Sheeit, fool. If there's hair... I'm there!

by money shots May 16, 2008

I don't care if you fuck chickens

means I do not care what you fuck.. dudes,ladies or chickens.. makes no difference as long you not fuckin me..

Bubba tells me he gay...I say to him "I don't care if you fuck chickens" as long as you don't try to include me in your little soap opera...

by Dam you November 21, 2005

I wouldn't piss up your ass if your guts were on fire.

The ultimate FUCK YOU.
I would rather watch you die from internal hellfire, rather than extinguish your flaming innards with my urine.

Suzie: Hey man you are a fucking dick, why do you treat everyone like shit?

Balls Hampton: Fuck you bitch! I wouldn't piss up your ass if your guts were on fire.

Suzie: Weeps uncontrollably

by GGR September 29, 2008