Braden

Self-declared patriot who treats other people's existence as a personal attack. Often complains loudly about how marginalized groups get "special treatment" while ignoring every form of privilege he enjoys. Braden thinks empathy is weakness and diversity is a threat.

Braden rolls his eyes at Pride Month but never questions why beer companies and car dealerships get their own holidays. He talks about freedom constantly but wants books banned and identities erased.

Braden claims to support the troops, but only when it lets him rant online. He has strong opinions about flags, gender, and what other people do with their lives, especially when it doesn’t affect him at all.

Braden is what happens when entitlement meets insecurity and gets a Wi-Fi connection.

See also: Karen

A Braden just called Pride attention seeking, while filming himself in front of military stuff he didn’t earn, wearing a gym shirt that’s never been to a gym.

by MacyDayZee June 16, 2025

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Get the Bradenmug.

Braden

Braden is the type of guy who will suck your penis when you broke up with madalyn last Saturday night. And Bradens tend to walk like a disabled dog, and make disable dog noises. If you find a Braden, tickle his Donahue neck and he will pass out from penis purple syndrome.

Hi Braden, dont be scared. I'm just going to tickle your Donahue neck.

by Madalyns pepperoni titanic tit December 5, 2019

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