the inner machinations of my mind

an enigma

the inner machinations of my mind are an enigma

by anguslazy November 24, 2024

Alabamian Washing Machine

When your partner is in the washing machine and you insert your penis inside her vagina while the washing machine is active. Not to be confused with the Reverse Alabamian Washing Machine.

GF: "Babe, give me an Alabamian Washing Machine!"
BF: "Ok, get in the washing machine"

by Capital_K December 10, 2024

The candy machine

The candy machine was a device used for masturbation in ancient times and was presented by a kid named Elias on youtube, he was the creator of this masturbation device that yanked your balls and tickled the groin. Elias went on to die from internal groin bleeding....

"I just bought a brand new version of The candy machine!"
"That's fucking awesome, just remember to oil up so it doesn't rip the testies"

by jepeliusmilo December 18, 2024

testicles powered by machine guns

testicles that are powered by machine guns!

his testicles were so fucking strong that they could be powered by machine guns
testicles powered by machine guns are awesome!

by Tower0fdreams January 19, 2025

Long-Duration Motion Machines

Long-Duration Motion Machines are hypothetical devices designed to operate for extremely long periods without external energy input, while still respecting known conservation laws and thermodynamics. Unlike perpetual motion machines, they do not claim infinite operation or energy creation. Instead, they rely on ultra-slow energy dissipation, delayed equilibration, environmental energy harvesting, or probabilistic and extraphysical mechanisms. The key distinction is that long-duration machines eventually stop, while perpetual motion machines violate physical laws by claiming endless motion or energy output. These machines are often discussed in theoretical engineering, speculative physics, and borderline scientific proposals.

Long-Duration Motion Machines — Example

A hypothetical machine uses ultra-low-friction components, cosmic background radiation harvesting, and delayed thermal equilibration to keep moving for millions of years. It never produces excess energy and slowly loses motion over astronomical timescales. Unlike a perpetual motion machine, it obeys thermodynamics but exploits environmental and probabilistic factors to extend operation far beyond conventional machines.

by AbzuInExile January 24, 2026

Deus sex machina

Phenomena where the most unbreedable character in fiction gets laid for the purpose of plot or bad writing

(insert the most annoying character in fiction) is getting laid can you believe it?

fucking Deus sex machina

by evil molester February 11, 2026

Long-Duration Motion Machines

The natural and artificial systems that move things across geological timescales—glaciers that carve valleys over millennia, tectonic plates that rearrange continents over eons, and human institutions that change so slowly they might as well be geological. Long-duration motion machines include the slowly shifting course of rivers, the gradual uplift of mountains, and the federal government, which moves with approximately the same speed and predictability as a continent, just with more paperwork.

Example: "She studied glaciers as long-duration motion machines, watching them inch forward year after year, carving landscapes with patience that humans cannot fathom. When her grant was delayed by government bureaucracy—another long-duration motion machine—she found the irony unbearable. The glacier, she noted, was faster."

by Abzugal February 14, 2026