panic parkour

1) a phrase describing the adrenaline-fueled parkour champion-like moves no one, including you, ever knew you had, in an emergency situation. For instance:

Picture, if you will, an indoor play structure at a nursery school/day care. I'd wondered before how the grown ups were supposed to get in there if there was ever a kid inside that needed help. Then one day, one of the tiny tots bit another one real good, right inside the play structure.
I moved so fast that before I knew it I was inside the stupid thing with a screaming toddler in my arms, and no clear recollection of how I'd gotten there. I have a vague recollection of backing into it, somehow. The other toddler looked me dead in the eye and told me, very confidentially, "I bite."
YES, I THINK WE'VE ESTABLISHED THAT

2) possible reference to "Panic Parkour", a set of hott trax laid down by Urban Action, Dubstep & Chill

I don't like extreme sports or cross fit. However, show me a kid or animal in danger and my panic parkour moves will inspire awe.

by lotusoftheheart July 22, 2018

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Paragraph parkour

Going from one topic to an entirely more insane topic in two paragraphs or less

My friend Johnathon went from ranting about an expensive action figure to killing the president so fast, he was doing paragraph parkour.

by TechDeX September 13, 2021

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Pumpkin parkouring

Using the irregular and random placement generation of pumpkins on the surface to complete slightly difficult jumps in an attempt to make them fall and waste time jumping back on top of the pumpkin

He’s pumpkin parkouring

by Minecraft addict July 19, 2023

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