by Derp_Apple January 8, 2022
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by UltimateDoge May 3, 2021
Get the Hermit mug.Also known as a "garden hermit"; a person hired by wealthy landowners in the 18th century to live in solitude in a specially built hermitage, folly, or grotto on their estate, acting as a living decoration. They were expected to embody the qualities of a druid and live a secluded life, often with specific rules like growing their hair and beard long and not washing. In return for their service, they received lodging, food, and a stipend. Landowners and their guests might occasionally consult their garden hermits for advice, stories, or entertainment.
Landowners placed advertisements in local newspapers seeking ornamental hermits to live on their property for long spans of time (7 years, in one instance).One legend goes that someone's ornamental hermit was found drinking at a local pub 3 weeks into their tenure, thus breaching their contract.
by A. Patmos November 27, 2025
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by LeSouffleDeVersailles February 13, 2025
Get the Projecting perspectives whilst being obvious is the hermit tarot card. mug.Curb Hermits (noun) —
A subspecies of urban cryptid known for their sacred ritual of chain-smoking Marlboros on the same section of curb every day like it’s their personal throne of apathy.
These nicotine-powered philosophers emerge from unknown crevices at odd hours to contemplate life, loudly overshare trauma, and yell “you got a light?” at passing pigeons. Their natural enemies include: showers, employment, and any form of productive behavior.
Found primarily outside gas stations, 24-hour liquor stores, and anywhere weed smells like regret, Curb Hermits operate on a strict diet of American Spirits, Monster Energy, and unmedicated chaos.
Do not approach unless you’re offering a cigarette, gossip, or existential despair.
A subspecies of urban cryptid known for their sacred ritual of chain-smoking Marlboros on the same section of curb every day like it’s their personal throne of apathy.
These nicotine-powered philosophers emerge from unknown crevices at odd hours to contemplate life, loudly overshare trauma, and yell “you got a light?” at passing pigeons. Their natural enemies include: showers, employment, and any form of productive behavior.
Found primarily outside gas stations, 24-hour liquor stores, and anywhere weed smells like regret, Curb Hermits operate on a strict diet of American Spirits, Monster Energy, and unmedicated chaos.
Do not approach unless you’re offering a cigarette, gossip, or existential despair.
In the wild:
“Bro, don’t make eye contact with the Curb Hermits outside 7-Eleven. One of them asked me what year it was and then tried to sell me a dreamcatcher made of gum wrappers.”
“Bro, don’t make eye contact with the Curb Hermits outside 7-Eleven. One of them asked me what year it was and then tried to sell me a dreamcatcher made of gum wrappers.”
by Heyitspatt May 29, 2025
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