GARY, THERE’S A BOMB STRAPPED TO MY CHEST! IT’S GONNA EXPLODE IN THREE SECONDS UNLESS YOU GET A BATH!

When you want your pet named Gary to get a bath, so you strap a bomb to your chest in an attempt to scare him in to doing it.

Robert:“GARY, THERE’S A BOMB STRAPPED TO MY CHEST! IT’S GONNA EXPLODE IN THREE SECONDS UNLESS YOU GET A BATH!”

Gary:”Meow”

(Robert explodes)

by Intruderalertredspyisinthebase August 20, 2024

a human second

A human second, exactly one second.

That image was funny, for about a human second.

by Trico Everfire May 18, 2018

second-hand sun

When you get your daily allotment of vitamin D from basking in an iridescent moon glow. Mostly pertaining to those living in overcast places who never get to see the sun...but for some reason always see the moon.

Ultra-white chic: "I don't have to worry about freckles since I tan in second-hand sun!"

Normal chic: "Yeah the 'Elven' look really works for you...how is 'Narnia' these days!"

by Skippychris December 8, 2010

second plane

A second piece of bad news which follows shortly after, and changes your understanding of, the first.

"Did you hear that Sarah's brother died?"
"Oh God, that's awful."
"Yep, the family was devo. They thought it was an accident, but turns out it was suicide."
"Damn, what a second plane."

by titijova November 18, 2023

Split second cranberry sauce

Quite honestly just canned cranberry sauce

Wanna watch me make my split second cranberry sauce? To late you blinked

by Little UnderLord November 25, 2023

second day of every year

on the second day of every year, the chickens.

fun fact: on the second day of every year, the chicken

by funni guy January 23, 2023

triple-second-cousin

Someone who, in relation to others, has zero parents, zero grandparents and six great-grandparents in common.

Triple-second-cousin.

by Cerejini May 21, 2024