granola

Someone who is in their 20-30s, who distinguishes him or herself by not conforming to the modern twenty something trends. Someone who shows distaste in 'hipster' things, conservative beliefs, religion, and anything that is the traditional norm such as weddings.
"I hate girls who take pics of coffee in a hipster cafe just for instagram. Just enjoy the moment and not touch your phone for a day!"
"Wow you are so granola."

"I want to live in a van for a year and travel the world with little money and stay off the grid!"
"Your instagram is all nature, so granola!"
by quidproquoamend11 July 01, 2018
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Granola cluster

A late 1980s term used by kids to describe hippie wannabes.
by Real_hippie September 19, 2023
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Smooth Crunchy Granola

Used to describe a type of indie Jewish worship experience enjoyed by young urbanite Jews, typically unorthodox & upper-middle class
"So you went to that new Friday night service in Harlem, right? How was?"
"I loved it! It was so spiritual! Why don't you come with me next week?"
"Was it like smooth crunchy granola?"
"What do you mean?"
"Did they sing in a circle and try to get everyone to meditate?"
"Yes!"
"Not my thing. I'll just stick to my Orthodox shul."
by klezmoreh98 January 25, 2024
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Noah Granola

One of the most mysterious aliases of the culprit and war criminal, 'Joe Willy'.
Noah Granola said he was going to build a Dyson sphere and blot out the sun, "You bitches need less light and my basement doesn't have enough space. I'm going to build I Dyson sphere once I kill the Russian president." to be specific. The number of people in his basement are unknown, and the location of his basement is also unknown. Noah Granola is a fucking bitch and burned down 3 native campsites in the past month.
Noah Granola is an insane egotistical maniac who wants to kill the Russian president.
Don't be a Noah Granola.
by Joe_Willy August 01, 2023
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Granola Bar

When a bitch succs your dick, then shita on it, and then you cum at the same time
Hey yo, your mom gave me a granola bar last night.
by sHaggy642 October 01, 2021
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Granola-Bar

A granola-bar is a device that is used to create friendships with C2s. Creating what is known as the C2's granola-bar effect.
C2: You forgot to bring a granola-bar today?

Person 8888: sorry, I forgot.

C2: It's ok.

Person 8888: Really?

C2: Sure... So long as you bring me 2 granola-bars tomorrow!
by THE REAL MAYO MAN April 21, 2021
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Granola bars

What C2s create friendships in order to get.
Person 1 Why does my friend keep stealing my granola bars??

Person 2: Because she's a C2!
by THE REAL MAYO MAN April 21, 2021
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