A “ Granola” can be described as a Vegan, Organic, Non-GMO, BPA-Free, Grass Fed, Grass Finished, Dairy Free, Nut Free, Soy Free, Lemon Wedge Deodorant wearing overly environmentally friendly non-hippy-but-also-a-hippy-at-the-same time stereotype (Think hippy minus the drugs and the tie dye.) Granolas often smell like curry and likely live in an off-the-grid tiny house in the middle of some field they probably don’t actually own. In said tiny houses in an effort to save the climate, they likely redirect their “all natural toilet waste” from their glorified port-a-potty into their veggie compost to later use as “natural” fertilizer. Granolas often dress in an outdoorsy fashion that also resembles that of a well dressed hobo. It is not uncommon to identify a Granola wearing Birkenstocks, Athletic Shorts, Camel Back backpacks, North Face Jackets, and more regardless of whether or not they take frequent hikes. Granolas may also be seen driving a Subaru Outback with several decals on the back windshield that often refer to climate change and world peace.
I love Jan but after her month long getaway in the deep woods of the Rocky Mountains, she turned into a total granola!
by NoboHobo January 19, 2022
Someone who is in their 20-30s, who distinguishes him or herself by not conforming to the modern twenty something trends. Someone who shows distaste in 'hipster' things, conservative beliefs, religion, and anything that is the traditional norm such as weddings.
"I hate girls who take pics of coffee in a hipster cafe just for instagram. Just enjoy the moment and not touch your phone for a day!"
"Wow you are so granola."
"I want to live in a van for a year and travel the world with little money and stay off the grid!"
"Your instagram is all nature, so granola!"
"Wow you are so granola."
"I want to live in a van for a year and travel the world with little money and stay off the grid!"
"Your instagram is all nature, so granola!"
by quidproquoamend11 July 01, 2018
Outdoorsy wealthy poseur.
Wears expensive outdoor gear type clothing ALL of time, with brand labels exposed & conspicuous. Only talks about organic food and extreme sports.
Wears expensive outdoor gear type clothing ALL of time, with brand labels exposed & conspicuous. Only talks about organic food and extreme sports.
Chris and Bea are so Gucci Granola; their Toyota Tacoma has micro brew and social justice stickers all over the back.
The Gucci Granola chick outside Whole Foods wanted me to sign a petition to ban cars from the freeway.
The Gucci Granola chick outside Whole Foods wanted me to sign a petition to ban cars from the freeway.
by JHGC8 June 21, 2017
yo moma is a granola lady
by mr mayonase January 04, 2012
Brought on by the cannabis movement; colorado granola i.e hippie, flower child, peace, zen...think woodstock.
by Colorado_Granola_420 November 10, 2017
One of the most mysterious aliases of the culprit and war criminal, 'Joe Willy'.
Noah Granola said he was going to build a Dyson sphere and blot out the sun, "You bitches need less light and my basement doesn't have enough space. I'm going to build I Dyson sphere once I kill the Russian president." to be specific. The number of people in his basement are unknown, and the location of his basement is also unknown. Noah Granola is a fucking bitch and burned down 3 native campsites in the past month.
Noah Granola said he was going to build a Dyson sphere and blot out the sun, "You bitches need less light and my basement doesn't have enough space. I'm going to build I Dyson sphere once I kill the Russian president." to be specific. The number of people in his basement are unknown, and the location of his basement is also unknown. Noah Granola is a fucking bitch and burned down 3 native campsites in the past month.
Noah Granola is an insane egotistical maniac who wants to kill the Russian president.
Don't be a Noah Granola.
Don't be a Noah Granola.
by Joe_Willy August 01, 2023
by sHaggy642 October 01, 2021