The Hairy Knuckle Werther's

When you look alarmingly like an angry, ocularly-challenged, German Shepherd owning bull dyke, and always keep a button in your pocket due to the incessant issue of having to close the rear holes in your pants after you "HAD to stop at THAT out of service, poorly-lit wayside" for HOURS, you're probably familiar with The Hairy Knuckle Werthers:

This is when your favorite boy-crush takes a plaster mold of the hand of the angriest, most extravagantly endowed gorilla at the zoo, and proceeds to fill it with liquified Werther's candy.

Upon hardening (of the candy), your boy crush thrusts the giant black hand-fist into your spelunking tunnel (Most of the other people at The Hardee's Play place pretend not to notice).

Upon germination, you grant your boy crush with a button you've kept in your pocket for years. Quietly exclaiming, "That was better than the time I walked Lassie"
Once Rock Day was done, the spastic guy Tom is all side and told us when Gary got "The Hairy Knuckle Werther's"
by Sweaty Shirt Changer June 22, 2023
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Refers to bribing someone with a piece of heavenly-tasting candy as an incentive/reward for tackling a difficult job.
I suppose dat for someone with a sweet tooth, it might indeed be true that "Werther's a will, there's a way". I'm not into candy all dat much myself, though, so for me, I'd much prefer da promise of just a generous swallow of "da milk of human kindness", such as being heaped with praise and gratitude and/or being showered with hugs and kisses.
by QuacksO March 27, 2022
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