Alabama Hand Warmer

The act of ejaculating in ones hand, then open hand slapping your partner with the same hand.

Joe: Dude did you hear Alabama scored 65 points last night.

Me: No I didnt, but i scored an alabama hand warmer.

by Peanut Rouge Vandall III November 28, 2009

Texas Hand Warmer

A slang term for a female whose vaginal muscles are loose enough to allow for the insertion of entire hand. Normally used as a derogatory term implying promiscuity.

Man I got with Angel last night, that chick is a real Texas hand warmer.

by Montanak121 September 3, 2013

Asian Hand Warmer

Warming your hands by placing them within close proximity of your balls. Pants must be used for maximum effect (otherwise, you're just fondling your balls).

This comes from the East Asian tradition of warming your hands with your balls.

"Dude, it is so freezing out here. I'm gonna stick my hands down my pants." - Person A
"Don't you mean to pull an asian hand warmer?" - Person B
"Yeah sure whatever." - Person A

by Gordonite April 8, 2012

Russian hand warmer

When a man takes a large amount of Crisco and lathers his hands. Next he inserts both hands into a woman's vagina or anus. This is a Russian hand warmer!

1. "Dude, last night I gave this girl the best Russian hand warmer!"
"Bro, I'll bet it was tight!"
"Not as much as you'd think.."

by Rockin'ItAllNight:P February 28, 2012

alaskan hand warmer

to jack off with blubber in negative degrees farenheit weather.

Man, it was so cold I had to give my self an alaskan hand warmer!

by matzah May 25, 2007

poor man’s hand warmer

A full bag of fresh dog poop on a cold morning.

My two dogs provide a most adequate poor man’s hand warmer.

by Doggie walker May 13, 2021

Shaking the hand warmer

ANOTHER term for beatin' the meat. When you get out a hand warmer, you normally shake it real hard so it will warm up faster. Kind of same emphasis with the meat part.

John: Oh my god, Alex, your face is so red! And you're out of breath! And there's a stain on the carpet! What did you DO!?

Alex: Oh, you know. I was just shaking the hand warmer.

by Diesektd Frawg May 1, 2009