In The Mail

When one is so drunk one the most responsible thing to do is stick them in an Uber and text their roommate a shipping update (regardless of if you actually do that)

Or, when one is "In The Mail," the act of being sent home in an Uber.

After getting cut off from drinks at the blackjack table, Danny is in the mail. Someone maybe should get him in back to his hotel room.

Hey Andrew, can you make sure Danny makes it home safe tonight?
Way ahead of you. He's already in the mail. App says ETA 8 minutes.

by FiendishLineage July 18, 2019

get it through the mail

when someone receives drugs through the mail

Ima get it through the mail

by Yo Mari June 23, 2022

reading the mail

eavesdropping on a conversation; sandbagging (ham radio lingo)

A ham radio operator tunes her radio to a frequency frequented by other hams, usually people she knows. She can listen in on their QSO without them knowing it.

"So I was *ahem* reading the mail this morning on 2 meters..."

by rubberbiscuit August 11, 2009

Move the mail

To crap; to poop; to drop a deuce. A verb meaning to take a shit.

I poop regularly, but my wife needs eat fiber to help her move the mail each morning.

by West Coast Urbanite April 17, 2022

Open the door and throw the mail inside

Having vaginal sex, then pulling out, aiming the head of your penis into your partner's anus and then ejaculating. Anal creampie without anal sex.

I was pretty angry that Gertrude didn't want to let me make sex with her bumhole, so I decided to open the door and throw the mail inside. She farted out my masculine mayonnaise all over the backseat of her 2008 Kia Spectra.

by Billiam McFucktard May 17, 2019

Check's in the mail

When you have no intention of paying for something/don't believe something. People used to pay for things by check and it would take some time to arrive. If you didn't have money, you could buy something without paying, saying "the check's in the mail."

"Hey, when are you going to pay me for that weed?" "The check's in the mail, bro."
"The supreme court is going to uphold the voting rights act? Yeah right. The check's in the mail."

by quietbanana October 6, 2022

Fuck the mail

1.) A round about way of saying 'I just came'; euphemism for having an orgasm or total arousal

2.) when something really awesome happens, not necessarily sexual

Usually people say the 'the mail's coming' or 'the mail came', hence, 'fuck the mail', implying you're the one who came instead

What?? Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis do it in Black Swan?? FUCK THE MAIL.

Oh snap, did you just see that waitress bend over? FUCK THE MAIL.

by gayerthanthou May 1, 2011