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Squat Cobbler

Derives from the AMC Original "Better Call Saul", which is the act of a fully clothed man sitting, and proceeding to rub the buttocks into a pie of choice, and occasionally crying, for the intent of sexual arousal.
To get out of questioning, I told them that you did a Squat Cobbler.
by AMCMcGill August 31, 2016
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hoboken squat cobbler

Per Better Call Saul 2.2, it's when a fully dressed man sits in pie and squirms around. If he produces tears, it's a special crybaby squat. It's art, and there is a costume involved.
He needs some alone time to get busy with his Hoboken squat cobbler movies .
by Scarlett Vale August 24, 2016
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Hoboken Squat Cobbler

A sexual fetish whereby one sits naked in a pie and wiggles around. Crying is optional. Aka: Full Moon Pie, Boston Cream Splat, Simple Simon the Ass Man
Danny spent half an hour at the bakery deliberating between blueberry and cherry for his Hoboken Squat Cobbler, but what difference could it make since his ass has no taste buds?
by Buffy Trace May 26, 2016
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squat cobbler

Squat Cobbler: (skwät ka-blēr)

The fetishized act of a man who sits in pie(s). Particular attention is given to the man's clothed/costumed buttocks and the specific "wiggling around" gyrations that are made once the man has sufficiently mounted the pastry.

Squat cobbling and it's variants are designed to titillate the senses and are often stored on various forms of digital media. Specialist squat cobblers, such as "crybaby squat cobblers", (a male who sits in pie while crying like a baby) are rare but in very high demand amongst pie sitting hobbyists.

(Squat cobbler videos will always feature a fully clothed or costumed man, who's pie sitting and wiggling of the buttocks will always be performed within all legal boundaries.)

AKA: "Hoboken Squat Cobbler", "Boston Cream Splat", "Full Moon Pie" and the oft requested "Dutch Apple Ass"
I stopped going on fullcreamahead.org for watching squat cobbler vids dude... I found a guy who will do custom dutch-apple-ass squat cobbling movies and only accepts baseball cards as payment bro!
by Russell. D.Jimmz August 19, 2016
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squat cobbler

A squat cobbler is someone who squats over pies (like apple and rhubarb), and rubs their buttocks over the oven warmed dessert for sexual arousal.
Some specialists opt to cry and sob whilst performing this act.
I would like to partake in Squat Cobbling to get myself off tonight.
Or
Look over there, that man's squat cobbling.

He is a Squat Cobbler.
by Jimmy MacGill June 22, 2016
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squat cobbler

A sexual fetish, similar to sploshing/food sitting/cake farts, but specifically with the use of pies.
That dude's a squat cobbler... You know.. he gets off sitting on various pies. Boston cream, Dutch Apple, lemon meringue, if it's a pie he's sitting on it and loving it.
by mediaskate648 May 27, 2016
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squat cobbler

Someone who gets a sexual thrill by sitting on pie.
"Sunny thought Bob had a foot fetish, but he turned out to be a squat cobbler guy."
by Manny Petty September 3, 2016
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