self-serving friend

An individual who is only your friend to use you for their own personal gain and is magically not around when you actually need a friend. Also known as selfish and a bitch.

Wow, you know Jessica, we should have seen right through Rebecca, she is such a self-serving friend; she only wanted to be friends with us so she could pass bio lab.

by Good Friends United January 15, 2009

Self Serve Blumpkin

Similar to a Blumpkin except there is no second party involved. The self serve consists of jerking off while taking a dump. The self serve happens much more regularly because you do not have convince a slore to blow you when taking a crap.

Mike muth was on the prowl for a blumpkin but wasn't coming up with a suitable candidate, therefore he had to resort to the classic self serve blumpkin.

by Baller26 May 21, 2008

self serve smoothie

When you masturbate into a cup, and then drink it.

Or, for more exotic tastes, when you poop into a cup and eat it.

Damn, the ice cream machine at Jason's Deli is broken. Good thing I can make a self serve smoothie

by CG Poopsmith December 11, 2011

pulling up to self serve

To pleasure one's self. To be your own best friend. When a man enjoys his own company. roughing up the suspect

I was scarred for life when I walked in on my dad as he pulled up to self serve.

by BoneDaddy December 13, 2004

Self serving egotistical fuckward

Human who is really really selfish

-So Garbencius prase siust darbus?
-Ne bet as nusiunciau nes kzn vistiek neturim gi pazymiu ir cia tik 6sav liko mokytis
-oho Zilvi you are self serving egotistical fuckward

by Gabrys May 13, 2020

Self serve buffet

When you put your very pregnant wife on a generously buttered dining table and slide her back and forth to serve yourself

Im going to be a dad really soon so im treating myself to a self serve buffet until that day.

by TripleFcups September 5, 2025

Self Serve Clam Chowder

When you bust a fat load into her pussy then eat it out.

considered a clam chowder bread bowl if vagina is substituted with asshole

“Hey bro would you like a slice of pizza?”
“Thank you for the offer, but I am stuffed after having some Self Serve Clam Chowder this morning!”

by Clam Chowder Bread Bowl March 6, 2022