xylophone

To move along a line of naked women who are all bending down, and spank their bottoms - which are of varying sizes - with one’s penis; to play a tune on women's buttocks. From the Greek xylo meaning ‘wood’ and phonnicus meaning ‘to hit tunefully’

by Martin Duxon August 8, 2003

xylophone

A word used to confuse little children in the spelling of it, although spelling such a word is extremely easy.

<KindyGartener> Zila-what?

by Bastardized Bottomburp May 4, 2003

Xylophone

Grab your dick and play the Xylophone on her ribs.

You: Let me see your ribs
Girl: Kay one sec
You: Imma give you a Xylophone
Girl: Okay
You: "Whack her ribs with your dick"

by Joe Joe BoB June 5, 2009

Xylophoning

Employing someone's ribs as a music making machine, courtesy of your man-mallet.

Steve and Sally enjoyed the symphonic ecstasy of ribcage tones courtesy of Steve's mastery of xylophoning.

by Slick Rick "The Dick" November 21, 2018

Xylophone

The xylophone is a sexual act in which a female braces herself in the table (or crab) posistion, and her male partner repeatedly strikes her naked body with his erect phallus. It is customary, but not necesary, for the female to replicate xylophone sounds with her mouth or anus in accordance with the location of the phallic strikes.

If two men do this at the same time to one woman, it is known as a duet.

Also, instead of being in the crab posistion, the parter on the receiving end of the strikes could just lay on the edge of a bed or table.

I went and divorced my wife after I found out she got the xylophone from Fransico Elson.

by jaypeddie December 26, 2007

Xylophone abs

When a man (or woman) has such toned abs that you could pick up a mallet and play them like a xylophone.

Blythe: Man that guy has such great abs!

Sarah: Yea, I could look at those xylophone abs all day...

by Qwassie November 16, 2013

Magic Xylophone

1. A question about a detail of a fictional story that is so trivial, the people who wrote said story certainly did not think about it.

2. A question asked about a fictional story by someone who is overly focused on the literal happenings of the plot instead of its themes, emotional affect, etc.

Taken from a Simpsons episode where a nerd inquires about the physics of a cartoon cat’s rib cage being played like a xylophone

1. “ In episode 2F09, when Itchy plays Scratchy's skeleton like a xylophone, he strikes the same rib in succession, yet he produces two clearly different tones. I mean, what are we to believe, that this is a magic xylophone, or something? Ha ha, boy, I really hope somebody got fired for that blunder.”

2. “I mean, I just don’t understand how there can be explosions in space in Star Wars when there’s no oxygen...”

“Shut up dude, stop talking about Magic Xylophones”

by RollinNollin November 3, 2020