telescoping

to masturbate into a tube and then ejaculate through the tube into someones eye

i was banging this bird last night. grabbed a toilet roll tube and proceeded in some telescoping

by luvchild1 September 22, 2009

Telescoping

Doing research on someone in a professional capacity, as preparation for an interview or informational meet up. I.e. you've only interacted briefly through email, so now you need to know what they look like, where/what they studied, and what work they're doing now, etc. before you hop on the phone or meet for an in-person coffee.

Can also be purely interest-based, e.g. someone you think is doing cool shit, want to get to know, and possibly collab with.

Basically internet stalking, but with the goal to come prepared to have a great convo and finesse a connection.

Something ambitious millennial artists and yuppies do, so they're in the know with dope people in their industry.

I'm getting coffee with them tomorrow, but I don't even know what they look like, so I'll have to do some telescoping tonight.

by rwisgjg August 22, 2019

Rusty Telescope

Similar to a rusty trombone but you put your eye up to the gentleman's anus instead of your lips. Use the penis like an ocular piece by twisting to adjust focus.

Warning: leads to conjunctivitis.

Bill and John were just horsing around when Bill gave John a rusty telescope. John laughed when Bill went to adjust his "focus"

by Ziglerfish March 19, 2012

Chocolate Telescope

The act of looking up someone’s ass looking for a turd to come shooting out at you

Dude me and Megan decided to try the chocolate telescope and I got pink eye

by Realfluffy20 April 3, 2021

Hubble Space Telescope

What is the Hubble Space Telescope? Well, I looked it up on Wikipedia and it gives you an overview of Hubble’s life. They say “Hubble was launched in 1990” and “it can take extremely high resolution images.” Huh. They didn’t let me edit the Wikipedia page, so here we are. Let me tell you, Hubble is so much more than anything that some researcher can write on a page. Let’s start with the basics: it’s a very big peepee in space. If that’s not enough for you, consider the fact that the Hubble Space Telescope is indisputably the thiccest satellite so far. 24 THOUSAND POUNDS OF HUBBLE. It’s so beautiful I could cry. And not only that, it’s speeding along at OVER FIVE MILES PER SECOND. That’s right people, miles per second. That’s faster that an ambulance. Now, I know this definition isn’t supposed to be that long. I also know that this probably won’t get published. But I had to try. I had to write about Hubble. I love you Hubble. Always.

“Hey what’s the coolest thing in the world?”
“Haha, the Hubble Space Telescope, of course!”

by HubbleTheSquid April 22, 2019

nubble space telescope

having an internet connection so slow that u transmit and receive data as fast as the hubble space telescope.

he's lagging so badly he could be a nubble space telescope

by moon August 1, 2004

hubble telescope

the best astronomy tool. ever.

I am doing my History Day project on the HST

by seismographitti 00 January 8, 2005