by Liam Domonkos January 8, 2005
Get the A Steven Segal mug.ADV. Lyrical, spiritual, bring the dalai lama in
I'm not the spiritual Steven Segal
Brings the drama like a suicide bomber
I'm not the spiritual Steven Segal
Brings the drama like a suicide bomber
I'm not a spiritual Steven Segal, back me up against the wall, I'm not the lyrical, spiritual Dalai Lama.
by Lyrical Spiritual nigga February 10, 2017
Get the spiritual steven segal mug.A very powerful man, one so powerful he beats his three wives for fun. Has hair the likes one has never seen; it resembles matted down beaver hair that never moves, even when fighting on top of a train or running around in the Alaskan wilderness. Currently weighing in at a cool 400 pounds, he doesn't have to actually fight anymore, just wave his hands and all have broken necks or arms. He dresses to kill in all black, which does not hide his bulky ass. No acting skills are required; all that is needed is to have a dick in your throat and be able to mumble "Mission Accomplished". In order to kill like Seagal, you must be able to slide for 20 minutes without a running start and shoot your enemies at the same time, even on the flatest of surfaces. (No reloading is required, your ammo is endless).
Every movie is made with his character having the name "John", "Jack", or "Casey". In order to write a plot for a Seagal movie, all you must do is have him a) be a cop, b) a mercenary or c) an ex-serviceman. Then Seagal must either save a sub, a town, a nuclear warhead, the environment, or all of the above. He must do battle with Columbian druglords, terrorists, or environmental evildoers. Then Seagal ultimately saves the day, and ends the movie with a snazzy one-liner. While the credits are rolling, you could have him strumming one of his guitars, and singing a jaunty little number.
Every movie is made with his character having the name "John", "Jack", or "Casey". In order to write a plot for a Seagal movie, all you must do is have him a) be a cop, b) a mercenary or c) an ex-serviceman. Then Seagal must either save a sub, a town, a nuclear warhead, the environment, or all of the above. He must do battle with Columbian druglords, terrorists, or environmental evildoers. Then Seagal ultimately saves the day, and ends the movie with a snazzy one-liner. While the credits are rolling, you could have him strumming one of his guitars, and singing a jaunty little number.
I totally Steven Seagalled that guy; Mission Accomplished.
I am Steven Seagal...someone has to take out the garbage.
I tried it with my girlfriend, she said "mission accomplished, all the way in".
I am Steven Seagal...someone has to take out the garbage.
I tried it with my girlfriend, she said "mission accomplished, all the way in".
by Mandy Broad September 22, 2007
Get the Steven Seagal mug.Music you would hear during various pornos involving Steven Seagal. Usually the music consists of thick, heavy techno beats that you can dance to. The beats in the music are usually well in sync with Steven pumping a bunch of Japenese girls with his 20 inch dick. In one of his famous pornos Aikido in a Speedo, there's a ton of disco porno music playing the background and he's dancing the whole time while only wearing a pink leather speedo (with his hair in pig tails). His most common move is having his legs more than shoulder length apart and shaking each outstretched arm up and down with his hands as fists.
by WAFFLESTOMPER667 April 9, 2009
Get the Steven Seagal Porno Music mug.after ejaculating into your partners mouth, chop them in the neck forcing them to swallow a mouthful semen
by maxir colona June 12, 2009
Get the steven seagle mug.One of the most powerful forces in the universe, almost as powerful as Mike Anderson. Capable of using Aikido to dispatch virtually any opponent (or many opponents) with ease. Never before has any opponent put as much as scratch on Steven Seagal, in other words he is untouchable. Hi-yah!
Carl: I am going to beat your ass!
Phil: Don't make me pull a Steven Seagal on you!
Carl: Oh yeah, well I'll just....uurrghh!!!!
Phil: That's what I thought. Hi-yah!
Phil: Don't make me pull a Steven Seagal on you!
Carl: Oh yeah, well I'll just....uurrghh!!!!
Phil: That's what I thought. Hi-yah!
by T Ranger July 28, 2008
Get the Steven Seagal mug.A martial artist action movie star with a face full of wrinkles, constantly squinting eyes, short black hair with a widow's peak and a dumb ponytail.
His movie career began with "Above the Law" in 1987, and throughout the 90s he starred in several more mainstream action movies. His career came to a doom in the early 00s, where in 2002 he made his last released-to-theaters movie "Half Past Dead" with rapper Ja Rule.
Through recent years, he's been making crap Direct-to-DVD movies, sometimes making up to four or five movies a year. 2010 saw the return of Seagal to the big screen...for Machete, in which he's the villain. Oh and he dies.
His movies are known for:
*His character either is out for revenge or has to rescue someone.
*The fight scenes have quick cuts, lots of obvious doubles, unnecessary close ups and the camera spinning around rapidly trying to fool audiences into thinking Seagal is actually hitting someone.
*Seagal requires a stunt double to walk.
*He can take someone's gun by barely raising his hand.
*He will say some stupid cliche line before beating the shit out of someone.
*His movie's plots are always "SERIOUS" dark and gritty
His movie career began with "Above the Law" in 1987, and throughout the 90s he starred in several more mainstream action movies. His career came to a doom in the early 00s, where in 2002 he made his last released-to-theaters movie "Half Past Dead" with rapper Ja Rule.
Through recent years, he's been making crap Direct-to-DVD movies, sometimes making up to four or five movies a year. 2010 saw the return of Seagal to the big screen...for Machete, in which he's the villain. Oh and he dies.
His movies are known for:
*His character either is out for revenge or has to rescue someone.
*The fight scenes have quick cuts, lots of obvious doubles, unnecessary close ups and the camera spinning around rapidly trying to fool audiences into thinking Seagal is actually hitting someone.
*Seagal requires a stunt double to walk.
*He can take someone's gun by barely raising his hand.
*He will say some stupid cliche line before beating the shit out of someone.
*His movie's plots are always "SERIOUS" dark and gritty
Danny: Wanna watch a Steven Seagal movie?
Marshall: Didn't that guy die from eating too many McDonald's?
Marshall: Didn't that guy die from eating too many McDonald's?
by MtnDew23 January 13, 2011
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