Penis Monkey

A mythical creature in the stories told around 2000 years ago about a legendary monkey that has god-like/omnipotent powers that will walk up to you in your dreams and steal your penis if you're a bad kid. Although it's just a tale that teaches kids to be good, this phenomena has shown up in many photos from the early 1860s to 1970s, only to disappear completely from every photo 69 hours later, after the picture was taken. Although having unlimited power would make you have every power imaginable and every power unimaginable, he only recorded powers are as follows:

-Teleportation
-The ability to make the skin of your penis roll up on itself and shred apart.
-Monky
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-Ability to show himself in dreams.
-Ability to erase evidence of his existence.
-Immortality/Invincibility

Derek: Dude, what happened, why were you in the hospital?
James: T-the p-p-penis m-monkey got me.
Derek: Who? What are you talking about?
James: MY PENIS I-IT'S GONE!!
Derek: D: oh no
Tyrone: What happened?
Derek: Penis Monkey.

by poopoo monkey machine man May 26, 2020

The Penis Monkey challenge

The act of competing against others by attempting to successfully perform the "Penis Monkey Surgery" the quickest.

Man 1: "Did you see Tommy's new time on the Penis Monkey Challenge?"

Man 2: "Yes, I believe his time was 1:38!"

by Johnny Asswipe IV March 8, 2021

Penis Monkey

A magical monkey-like creature that sits on your pubic hair.

"Marcus says he has 7 penis monkeys."
"Well then he must have A LOT of pubic hair to hold them up"

by Penismonkey2000 June 28, 2012

Penis Monkey

Likes the dong

Your a real penis monkey, that is to say you like the dong

by Main December 11, 2003

The Penis Monkey

The Penis Monkey is a form of masturbation where you get naked and climb a tree, then tie a string to a branch. Then, you tie the other end to your dick and jump off the tree while making Tarzan noises and swinging back and fourth like a monkey.

Oh my god, did you see Richard outside this morning? He did the Penis Monkey in his front yard and was placed under arrest for public nudity!

by Can you burn a Luigi board August 16, 2019

Penis Monkey Lover

someone who is "gay" and loves tiny penises with so much hair, you can not see the penis.

Wow did you see Jack the other day. He is such a Penis Monkey lover.

by Penis's June 20, 2011

Penis monkey

A monkey Who will steal your penis and force feed you it

Person 1: the penis monkey went into my room last night person 2: how did the penis taste? Person 1: surprisingly good

by Food guy 2 February 4, 2021