Johnny's Angels

Obsessive, psychotic fans of figure skating famewhore Johnny Weir. Known for pretty much sacrificing all things normal in life to follow Johnny's skating career, including their jobs, relationships and even personal hygiene. Some travel to wherever he is scheduled to appear. They also come in all nationalities. Given the chance, they most threads on Internet skating forums regardless if the topic is about Johnny or not - they will make it about Johnny. No criticism of him is tolerated, constructive or otherwise. Even if Johnny is in the wrong, and he has been more often than not, they will find a way to justify it. If you want to piss one off, tell them that it was good that Johnny didn't medal in the two Winter Games he competed in. It is like kicking a hive of African bees. Usually congregated around someone's computer, trolling on a skating forum, or at a local TGIFriday's, ordering double everything. Do not sit near them if you want to enjoy your meal. If you want to catch one and examine it, use Entenmann's cheesecake and a large bear trap.

Todd: I hate Johnny Weir and am SO GLAD he didn't win an Olympic medal.
Heather: YOU MISERABLE SONFABITCH! HOW DARE YOU TALK ABOUT JOHNNY THAT WAY!!! (Heather grabs Todd by the head, slamming it into the wall several times until he falls into a heap on the floor.
Todd (dying, blood oozing from his ears and head): Wow, you must be one of Johnny's Angels!
Heather: Damn straight, motherfucker! (Kicks Todd in his wounded head before he dies).

Johnny's Angels by Whatchu Talkin' 'bout Willis? March 20, 2011

Get merch

Johnny's Barn

A term more commonly used in the South or in other countrified areas. It means to go the looooooongest way possible in the history of mankind in order to get to ones destination. Its as opposite as you can get from a short cut. Its taking the longest route ever imaginable. Usually used in the sentence "going around Johnny's barn"

1. They closed down the bridge so instead of walking my normal 5 minute route I had to walk all the way around Johnny's freakin barn and it took like 2o minutes.

2. I should have gotten there in 10 minutes but my GPS doesn't know how to use side roads so instead it took me all around Johnny's barn and I got there really late
3. Dang, why did it take you so long to get here? Did you walk all the way around Johnny's barn? Geez.

4. Daily workout? Just walk around Johnny's barn.

Johnny's Barn by PrincipalWinchester May 12, 2016