Charter Communications Marketing Plan:
1. Find a former-hick community, say, Sparks, Nevada that is rapidly growing technologically.
2. Buy up all the rights to the cable lines within the new housing complexes in construction, and make those cable lines available only to Charter only.
3. When new owners of a home move in, bombard their mailbox with faster internet service ads.
4. Provide the service, seemingly superior in speed and reliability compared to their nonexistent competitors at first, but then after the first week, totally flips out, and has long downtimes and ignorant customer support reps that love to talk back against angry customers.
5. When customer opts out of the service, remind them that they need to pay a $200+ separation fee because their first month is not up, and not even the first 2 years of their contract.
6. When customer REALLY WANTS OUT, then remind him or her that their ass still belongs to Charter, and theres no other alternative except a slower and still just as unreliable ClearWire Wi-Fi broadband in the neighborhood.
7. When customer threatens to sue, Charter pays electric company to cut off all power, except for a few D-Batteries to power a portable TV connected to a portable VHS player, reminding them that they can stop this by switching back.
8. Don't provide them any service anyways, and bill them $4000 a month in retaliation for their lifetimes. Also armed guards patrol the outside of their doors at all times, with rottweilers bred for the taste of human flesh drooling on the windows.
1. Find a former-hick community, say, Sparks, Nevada that is rapidly growing technologically.
2. Buy up all the rights to the cable lines within the new housing complexes in construction, and make those cable lines available only to Charter only.
3. When new owners of a home move in, bombard their mailbox with faster internet service ads.
4. Provide the service, seemingly superior in speed and reliability compared to their nonexistent competitors at first, but then after the first week, totally flips out, and has long downtimes and ignorant customer support reps that love to talk back against angry customers.
5. When customer opts out of the service, remind them that they need to pay a $200+ separation fee because their first month is not up, and not even the first 2 years of their contract.
6. When customer REALLY WANTS OUT, then remind him or her that their ass still belongs to Charter, and theres no other alternative except a slower and still just as unreliable ClearWire Wi-Fi broadband in the neighborhood.
7. When customer threatens to sue, Charter pays electric company to cut off all power, except for a few D-Batteries to power a portable TV connected to a portable VHS player, reminding them that they can stop this by switching back.
8. Don't provide them any service anyways, and bill them $4000 a month in retaliation for their lifetimes. Also armed guards patrol the outside of their doors at all times, with rottweilers bred for the taste of human flesh drooling on the windows.
by C Tan November 4, 2007
Get the charter communications mug.One of the most prestigious communications schools in the world. Home of the longest running college television station, ICTV. Home of the best college radio station in the nation--WICB (also the winner of an MTV Woodie award).
Often referred to as the Park School, students (known as Parkies) are some of the most artistic, diligent, intelligent, and creative students on campus.
Graduates have gone on to positions at ESPN, CNN, NBC News, CBS, ABC, The New York Times, NPR and more. The school offers majors in television-radio, journalism, marketing, communication management, film, photography, visual arts, cinema and photography.
The school is split into six core departments: Cinema, Photography, and Media Arts; Journalism; Strategic Communications; Television-Radio; Technical Operations; and the Communications Program in Los Angeles.
Often referred to as the Park School, students (known as Parkies) are some of the most artistic, diligent, intelligent, and creative students on campus.
Graduates have gone on to positions at ESPN, CNN, NBC News, CBS, ABC, The New York Times, NPR and more. The school offers majors in television-radio, journalism, marketing, communication management, film, photography, visual arts, cinema and photography.
The school is split into six core departments: Cinema, Photography, and Media Arts; Journalism; Strategic Communications; Television-Radio; Technical Operations; and the Communications Program in Los Angeles.
Guy 1: I'm going to Ithaca!
Guy 2: Why?
Guy 1: Because we have an amazing communications school which wins numerous awards every year! I'm totally going to have an amazing internship junior/senior year and get an amazing job when I graduate. Roy H. Park School of Communications has the biggest alumni network ever!
Guy 2: Why?
Guy 1: Because we have an amazing communications school which wins numerous awards every year! I'm totally going to have an amazing internship junior/senior year and get an amazing job when I graduate. Roy H. Park School of Communications has the biggest alumni network ever!
by Parkie 2013 November 15, 2009
Get the Roy H. Park School of Communications mug.a telephone company in Hull that runs a monopoly and denies competition by charging the same price for wholesale as that they charge for their customers, also gets into bed with the council and also likes to get into bed with the Dull Snaily Mail
<hulldude1> Karoo Rulez! they boosted my connection from 512/256 to 768/256! nice.
<hulldude2> wtf I been cutoff for downloading a few warez, and NO I wasnt 'sharing' it! also had to write a fucking letter to KC to say I would never do it again, yeah right well i’ll write and visit them with it for now since there’s no other isp. Can’t wait till BT come rolling into town then there will be no more suspensions OR apologies for cutoffs cos KC will no longer be running the show and they’ll be back to small fry like they currently are in the rest of East Yorkshire!
<hulldude3> I been downloading some music and next morning rang the helldesk, they told me that my account is suspended! had to write a fucking letter to KC and apologise like a lil kid and say I would never do it again, well they are NOT getting it! cos if they dont restore my connection im be moving out of hull and they can stick their letter!
<hulldude4> i been cutoff for downloading some movies, eek I got to write a letter and visit them saying that im sorry and not to do it again, no other ISPs whine about this or ask such ludicrous procedures, makes me sick, think i'll give hull daily mail a ring in morning about this.
<hulldailymail> no hulldude4 we can NOT cover any negative stories about KC, you shouldn’t have downloaded those singles then should you! try BUYING them next time.
<hulldude5> ive never had a disconnection for p2p yet! Probably because I use SSH tunnels onto a mates shell server to do my web, irc, msn and p2p stuff. All complaints go into the trash folder (unless its serious i.e. child porno, terrorism etc) karoo don’t see a thing besides remote IP destination and the encryption, which they will never be able to break.
<hulldude6> man why do KC keep thinking that we are all football crazy?! they spent all that money on a fucking susper stadium for a devision 3 team! when it would be better spent on internet infrastructure and help end karoo's internet problems!
<hulldude2> wtf I been cutoff for downloading a few warez, and NO I wasnt 'sharing' it! also had to write a fucking letter to KC to say I would never do it again, yeah right well i’ll write and visit them with it for now since there’s no other isp. Can’t wait till BT come rolling into town then there will be no more suspensions OR apologies for cutoffs cos KC will no longer be running the show and they’ll be back to small fry like they currently are in the rest of East Yorkshire!
<hulldude3> I been downloading some music and next morning rang the helldesk, they told me that my account is suspended! had to write a fucking letter to KC and apologise like a lil kid and say I would never do it again, well they are NOT getting it! cos if they dont restore my connection im be moving out of hull and they can stick their letter!
<hulldude4> i been cutoff for downloading some movies, eek I got to write a letter and visit them saying that im sorry and not to do it again, no other ISPs whine about this or ask such ludicrous procedures, makes me sick, think i'll give hull daily mail a ring in morning about this.
<hulldailymail> no hulldude4 we can NOT cover any negative stories about KC, you shouldn’t have downloaded those singles then should you! try BUYING them next time.
<hulldude5> ive never had a disconnection for p2p yet! Probably because I use SSH tunnels onto a mates shell server to do my web, irc, msn and p2p stuff. All complaints go into the trash folder (unless its serious i.e. child porno, terrorism etc) karoo don’t see a thing besides remote IP destination and the encryption, which they will never be able to break.
<hulldude6> man why do KC keep thinking that we are all football crazy?! they spent all that money on a fucking susper stadium for a devision 3 team! when it would be better spent on internet infrastructure and help end karoo's internet problems!
by TV sucks November 28, 2004
Get the kingston communications mug.A field of public communications that specialized in the unique needs of the legal profession. The term was originally "coined" in the 1970s by business consultant Larry Horist to define a specialized service of his consulting business. It was first used in his business essay, "Public Affairs and the Corporation." Horist believed that in those days, "lawyers never talked to the public, and public relations people talked too much."
There is going to be a lot of public interest in this law suit, we should get some law related communications advice.
by LarryHorist September 26, 2010
Get the law related communications mug.A worldwide HF secure voice network developed to fulfill DOD long-haul, secure voice (radiotelephone requirements.
I have no idea why i put this in here
by IrishRepublicanArmy January 24, 2004
Get the Automatic Secure Voice Communications Network mug.an American cable television provider formed by William Bresnan in 1984. It originally operated cable systems on Michigan's Upper Peninsula
Cablevision acquired Bresnan Communications on June 13, 2010 for $1.37 billion and rebranded the systems as Optimum West.2 In February 2013, Charter Communications agreed to buy the former Bresnan systems for $1.625 billion.
by SPrice1980 May 13, 2023
Get the Bresnan Communications mug.an American cable television provider formed by William Bresnan in 1984. It originally operated cable systems on Michigan's Upper Peninsula. Over the next fourteen years, its operations spread to Minnesota Wisconsin, Mississippi and Georgia.
Bresnan Communications re-entered the cable business in April 2002, with the $735 million purchase of former AT&T Broadband Rocky Mountain systems from Comcast
by SPrice1980 May 13, 2023
Get the Bresnan Communications mug.