Jerk off and smoke Newports

A figurative description of an attitude towards life, as well as your immediate and distant surroundings. When you refer to yourself or someone else 'just Jerking off and smoking Newports',, you are simply trying to convey that you/they are not letting anything current issue take their mind off themselves. It is the most self-absorbed and least constructive activity imaginable.

Once I get my pension, I am just gonna retreat to my apartment in Des Moines, and then I'm just gonna jerk off and smoke Newports until Yellowstone does us all in, THAT's my 5-year plan!

I tried to pursuade him to get more involved in student politics, but he just sits in his room jerking off and smoking Newports like these things don't affect him!

by how-young-people-talk March 31, 2020

Twerk and Jerk

The act of having an epileptic episode while giving a handjob

My girl has epilepsy and last night when she was giving me a handy, she started seizing and gave me the twerk and jerk.

by Mr.DirtNasty January 26, 2023

Pocket jerking

Mostly a whimsical stranger that jerks people off by reaching into there pocket and touching them vigorously also known as a pocket thug

Yo! How about you stop pocket jerking!?

by ayeb0ss March 27, 2015

squirt jerk

the man rapidly fingers the women until she ejaculates onto the mans hard penis, and then proceeds to jack him off until he finishes.

Benton: Hey Bob what are you up to tonight?
Bob: oh mia and I are gonna have a nice squirt jerk session.

by benton69 August 4, 2017

Jerk

The nickname of a dude who dips across the country and doesnt come back

Yea I heard he/she pulled a jerk I still havent heard from he/she

by FelipeThePig November 10, 2022

Jerk curtain

Anything used to obscure the front-facing camera on a computer. Often a piece of tape,; a jerk curtain could be anything temporarily or permanently affixed to a computer and or front-facing camera that obscures visibility.

Did you see how many jerk curtains were up in that picture of the Apple offices?

Johnnie Carter uses a bandaid as a jerk curtain

by ChadAlan_fleecy_sack January 27, 2024

jerk book

Noun. Slang for your intentions to jerk off like a to do list.

Bruh! Why’d you take a screenshot of me? I hope you don’t put me in your jerk book? Wdym Jerk book? It’s Slang for your intentions to jerk off like a to do list.

by B-rizzle January 2, 2024