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two shits to a candlestick

to not know anything about anything
to "not hold two shits to a candlestick" is to think you know something but really know nothing

Dan: did you hear caleb's thoughts on obama care?
Emma: yeah, but the tool can't hold two shits to a candlestick when it comes to the goverment
by secretpumpkinking May 2, 2014
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The Shit

by anailyak November 14, 2020
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Piece of shit

Opie the mother fucker that won't do a damn thing with his life thinks that attempting to try to do people's windows is a means of income
Man that piece of shit Opie they fucked my windows up
by Tormentedsoul87 July 25, 2022
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Shit Wrinkle

When your in the bathroom stall and you hear someone taking a shit. It sounds like a wrinkle coming out of their ass.
I was in the bathroom and the girl in the stall next to me made a shit wrinkle
by DamzeL June 6, 2011
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Shitting in the town square

Doing something in public that should be done in a private environment
e.i. public displays of affection
Person 1: *making out with his girl*
Person 2: "Bruh, stop shitting in the town square"
by Urrrrmommmmm January 31, 2021
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Shit Jousting

When two participants hold hands while lying down on their backs, with their legs in the air, so that their assholes are pointed at each other, and both participants projectile shit at each other.
My boy Chris and I are going Shit Jousting tonight!
by Ruckus Rawson July 8, 2022
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Chicken shit

Somebody who waits until decades and decades after somebody's death to celebrate their death/downfall.
The chicken shit didnt want to be the only chicken shit celebrating the death/downfall of the person/statue of the person, so he or she got a whole group of people to spread the celebration like wildfire, that way it wouldn't be gloating or awkward for him or her.
by Solid Mantis August 28, 2020
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