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Captain and his crew

At the nude beach, I let the captain and his crew sail free on the open ocean.
by Mcpenis September 6, 2013
mugGet the Captain and his crewmug.

Captain Fun

This is the strongest being in the universe. God may pray to chazi but chazi prays to Captain Fun. Captain fun lays down justice and fun to all wrong doers.
God: chazi help us

Chazi: hold on let me ask captain fun
by MemesandTrees September 17, 2020
mugGet the Captain Funmug.

captain chonk chonk

Captain Chonk Chonk is our lord and saviour. His immense power is enough to squash 69 coconuts at once.
"DID YOU JUST SEE CAPTAIN CHONK CHONK?!"

"YEAH! HE WAS SQUASHING 69 COCONUTS!"
by Chonky Boi 69 December 5, 2020
mugGet the captain chonk chonkmug.

vice captain

Given to someone who is desperate to be captain but isn’t good enough. Usually given out of pity. No one pays attention to them no matter how much they want it.
by harryglynn123 December 2, 2017
mugGet the vice captainmug.

Captain Crank

A half-functioning fishing captain powered by nicotine, meth, and pure coastal paranoia. Captain Crank is the guy screaming about government satellites while freebasing off tin foil in the engine room of a rusted-out commercial boat—or chain-smoking through a guided trip while cussing at seagulls and mumbling about “the deep state tracking red snapper migrations.”

Not to be confused with an old salty dog—Captain Crank isn’t wise, he’s wired. You’ll know him by the jerky hand movements, a permanent squint (either from sun damage or sleep deprivation), and the overwhelming scent of bait, diesel, and regret.

Spotting Characteristics:

- Yellowed mustache from years of inhaling tinfoil smoke

- Boat held together by zip ties, duct tape, and spite

- Knows exactly where the fish are… but won’t tell you unless you “wake up to what’s really going on”

- Listens exclusively to ham radio frequencies and Joe Rogan clips from 2016

- Will fight you and the harbor patrol if you touch his bait cooler

Common Habitats:

- Commercial fishing boats with suspicious burn marks near the bilge

- Charter docks where someone just got fired or disappeared

- VFW bars with broken pool tables

- Forums arguing that fish finders are government mind-control devices
“We thought he was just passionate… until Captain Crank started yelling about fluoride in the chum.”

“Captain Crank brought us to the fish, but also brought a .38 and a full-blown manifesto.”

“If you smell burnt foil and hear something about ‘the government stealing our swordfish,’ turn around—that’s a Captain Crank.”

“He didn’t use sonar. He said he ‘felt the vibrations in his fillings.’ I’m never chartering with Captain Crank again.”
by Pary Moppins August 3, 2025
mugGet the Captain Crankmug.

The AA’er DC captain

A motherfuckin 9 year old that paid to get DC and AA’ed raddleton

He also sends nudes to his friends in preschool
Hey look, it’s The AA’er DC captain let’s go fuck that bitch up.

Bet his mom is sucking his dick
by Jacob Santanio January 15, 2019
mugGet the The AA’er DC captainmug.

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