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Absolute Nate

The act of shoving a fishing rod up another mans rectum and then removing the pole and cleaning any reminents with your mouth.
After fishing Joe gave Nick an absolute Nate in the bed of his truck.
by Donny spinoggle June 11, 2010
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Absolutely stunnin

Something that makes your eyes pop and your jaw drop out of amazement.
It was a view so sublime and (absolutely stunnin) I thought I had died and gone to heaven!
by Sillysox July 12, 2017
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Absolute-slowness

The waitress who serves me in my local cafe suffers from absolute-slowness. It is usually characterised by having a big pale ugly face, no manners or respect and the general demeanour of having taken 67 valiums and a few bottles of vodka.

It should also be noted that those affected tend to move in slow motion so do not be alarmed this is normal as they are out of sync with our time-frame.
Customer 1: "Hello, I'd like a some soup please."
Waitress 1: "Ok it'll just be a second"

*goes away and grows the vegetables and grain and slaughters the cow herself*

Customer 1: "What the hell's up with the Absolute-slowness today!!"
by asteroth February 24, 2010
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Absolutely Wasted

A term used for somebody who is quite intoxicated, typically with beverages such as Greene King IPA. Used by Alexander Robertson in the group UK Simpsons II, when asking for Simpsons episodes. Although roasted for his post originally, he then became internet famous thanks to the group and in other social media after featuring in a BuzzFeed post.
Eric: Man, we're quite drunk, aren't we?
Nick: Nah mate, we've been on the IPA lad. That means that we're in fact absolutely wasted!
by LionelHutz February 17, 2017
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Absolutely Perfect

Emily Morin🤩❤️
Girl: Wow, did you see Emily Morin today?
Guy: yes she is absolutely perfect🤩❤️
by Nicenamebro January 9, 2020
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Absolute Gimp

A person who is an absolute, also Gimp can be pronounced "Gump"
Why won't you lend me you shit pants? you absolute gimp
by chode boiler November 10, 2010
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absolute shambles

The penultimate form of shambles (which could be foreseen by any five year old), caused by the ineptitude of so-called management failing to understand how the job is really done. Sacking all the administrative staff at once will result in an absolute shambles.
The management team thought it was an excellent idea to sack everyone in the administrative grade: "look how much money we will save, aren't we such clever boys and girls!"
The result was of course an absolute shambles because no real work could be done. It was a far bigger shambles than had been created in the past.
by MoLincs November 28, 2011
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