The idea that any person who has the ability to sleep for an extended period of time will be interrupted by external events that cause you to have a shortened sleep schedule.
My Psych professor taught me about Lauren's Theory today, and it seems to explain why so many people don't receive 8 hours of sleep.
by Fraccy February 21, 2021
Get the Lauren's Theorymug. by Alien Shroom March 28, 2024
Get the CRACKHEAD THEORYmug. "That girl wanted me when I was with my ex, now she likes me as a friend. What gives?"
"Mockery's Theory, man"
"Mockery's Theory, man"
by Mypseudonymisbest February 23, 2022
Get the Mockery's Theorymug. Potential partners who have a name starting with the letter “M” are likely to to be attractive, funny, and kind. Current science is limited but it’s believed they have an enzyme that is generated in their system that called the builtdifferentezine that allows for this condition to take shape. It’s often suggested one pursues a date of some kind or the contact information of an “M” specimen to further investigate this unusual condition.
Oh his name is Marcelese? Here’s my number, give it to him and tell him I want to grab coffee sometime! I need to test the M Theory
by BLACK-MAN December 24, 2020
Get the The M Theorymug. Septum Ring Theory is a vague insult typically used against people with septum rings on social media platforms like TikTok. There's no concrete definition, but you know it when you see it. Septum Ring Theory is characterized by the following qualities.
• Septum Piercing (Obviously, and other present piercings in a given example strengthens the theory & insult's effect)
• Dyed Hair (Typically bright, attention hungry colors)
• Heavily left-leaning/liberal ideology
• Misandry
• Inflated sense of self importance/ego
• Inability to take accountability
• Tattoos (Not a requirement, but often found alongside the other indicators)
The purpose of the insult is to make the target angry. Responses to being told they fit the definition of septum piercing theory typically revolve around virginity or baselessly insinuating that the person receiving the insult is attractive to the person delivering it (this is the aforementioned inflated sense of self importance/ego showing itself in full.) These people will also lump you into a nebulous group of conservative boogeymen, which is where the political angle comes in despite the comment itself having nothing to do with politics. These replies are exactly what is expected though, and only help to further prove the Septum Ring Theory.
In short, Septum Piercing Theory is a comment that's designed to knock a very specific set of chronically online losers down a peg, and it usually works to great effect, almost like a cheat code.
• Septum Piercing (Obviously, and other present piercings in a given example strengthens the theory & insult's effect)
• Dyed Hair (Typically bright, attention hungry colors)
• Heavily left-leaning/liberal ideology
• Misandry
• Inflated sense of self importance/ego
• Inability to take accountability
• Tattoos (Not a requirement, but often found alongside the other indicators)
The purpose of the insult is to make the target angry. Responses to being told they fit the definition of septum piercing theory typically revolve around virginity or baselessly insinuating that the person receiving the insult is attractive to the person delivering it (this is the aforementioned inflated sense of self importance/ego showing itself in full.) These people will also lump you into a nebulous group of conservative boogeymen, which is where the political angle comes in despite the comment itself having nothing to do with politics. These replies are exactly what is expected though, and only help to further prove the Septum Ring Theory.
In short, Septum Piercing Theory is a comment that's designed to knock a very specific set of chronically online losers down a peg, and it usually works to great effect, almost like a cheat code.
Person A (with septum piercing): Men don't deserve rights/are trash/should be killed, etc, etc.
Person B (Usually a faceless account in Person A's comment section): Septum Ring Theory still undefeated.
Person A (in a video response to the comment): Spoken from a man who's never had his face in between a woman's legs. (They think they ate with this 🤭)
Person B (Usually a faceless account in Person A's comment section): Septum Ring Theory still undefeated.
Person A (in a video response to the comment): Spoken from a man who's never had his face in between a woman's legs. (They think they ate with this 🤭)
by The Masterful Baiter September 15, 2025
Get the Septum Ring Theorymug. 3 guys skull fucking a barely legal freshly 18 little blonde boy, shooting ropes of semen in his eye balls, and then each one penetrating his rectum where they release their warm embrace, after which the blonde boy fucks each of them in the rectum and releases his warm embrace, then each of them poop and bounce that ass on his chest so that it splatters all while getting paid $192k
“Did you hear a drummer did that for money?”
“Yeah I heard they’re calling it Sam’s Theory”
“Is that the one where 3 guys skull fucking a barely legal freshly 18 little blonde boy, shooting ropes of semen in his eye balls, and then each one penetrating his rectum where they release their warm embrace, after which the blonde boy fucks each of them in the rectum and releases his warm embrace, then each of them poop and bounce that ass on his chest so that it splatters all while getting paid $192k??”
“Yeah dude I think that’s the one”
“Chills dude… Chills”
“Yeah I heard they’re calling it Sam’s Theory”
“Is that the one where 3 guys skull fucking a barely legal freshly 18 little blonde boy, shooting ropes of semen in his eye balls, and then each one penetrating his rectum where they release their warm embrace, after which the blonde boy fucks each of them in the rectum and releases his warm embrace, then each of them poop and bounce that ass on his chest so that it splatters all while getting paid $192k??”
“Yeah dude I think that’s the one”
“Chills dude… Chills”
by boxes507 November 7, 2025
Get the Sam’s Theorymug. The theory that states that any subjective assignment (such as a book review) can be done without knowing what you are talking about (like writing a book review without reading the book).
Person 1: "Did you read the book and write the review?"
Person 2: "Nah. I'm not going to read the book; I'm just going to use Subjective Assignment Theory."
Person 2: "Nah. I'm not going to read the book; I'm just going to use Subjective Assignment Theory."
by bodfibodgjioqja November 18, 2011
Get the Subjective Assignment Theorymug.