Bristol Herschel Hawkstone was born in 1988 in Vancouver, WA to an Orthodox Jewish family. His father died in a car "accident" when he was 6 and he moved to Reno with his mother afterwards. He became a trapeze artist at age 16 and was married the same year. He fathered 5 children who were all mysteriously murdered. He served 6 months in supermax prison before escaping. The international civil defense agency recruited him after looking into his crime and proving his innocence.
He then became a spy for these United States, and completed every assignment as a "National man of mystery", former gigolo, and true American hero. Through the years he accrued a remarkable number of accomplishments, awards, achievements, and even jumped over a shark once.
In recent years, Bristol has become a timeless legend. A real down to earth, salt of the wound kind of patriot. All of his extracurriculars and his most recent adventure can be read about in his own book entitled; "not without my dr. Pepper." It can be purchased in digital form for $56.75 on Amazon probably.
He then became a spy for these United States, and completed every assignment as a "National man of mystery", former gigolo, and true American hero. Through the years he accrued a remarkable number of accomplishments, awards, achievements, and even jumped over a shark once.
In recent years, Bristol has become a timeless legend. A real down to earth, salt of the wound kind of patriot. All of his extracurriculars and his most recent adventure can be read about in his own book entitled; "not without my dr. Pepper." It can be purchased in digital form for $56.75 on Amazon probably.
by Bristol H. Hawkstone April 26, 2024
Get the Bristol Hawkstonemug. A football team in Bristol, England commonly known for playing terrible football in the championship and disappointing their fans. Also well known for having the fastest football player to ever play: Chris Martin.
Skinhead 1: “Bristol City are so shit why do I pay to watch this shite”
Skinhead 2: “At least Massengo has massive hair”
Skinhead 1: “Yeah I guess, do you want to go and do cocaine in the cubical?”
Skinhead 2: “yeah have you got the bag or has Al got it?”
Skinhead 2: “At least Massengo has massive hair”
Skinhead 1: “Yeah I guess, do you want to go and do cocaine in the cubical?”
Skinhead 2: “yeah have you got the bag or has Al got it?”
by StonesSZN on twitter April 11, 2022
Get the Bristol Citymug. A weak, inferior and submissive male/lady who chooses to support the worst football team in the city of Bristol.
Sexy, smart and strong Bristol City fan 1: "Hey! there goes Mark, he is a Bristol Rovers fan which means he obviously lacks the mental facilities needed to prosper in life. How about we throw stones at him?"
Sexy, smart and strong Bristol City fan 2: "Good idea!"
Sexy, smart and strong Bristol City fan 2: "Good idea!"
by chuckwwfc March 18, 2025
Get the Bristol Rovers fanmug. by Jgar May 22, 2019
Get the Lexi Bristolmug. A collective term for all the days in a year spent hungover, lazing in bed, stoned or generally doing nothing.
"I've done nothing lately, my month of Bristol is going to be huge."
Person 1 "Hey man, what did you do Tuesday?"
Person 2. "Nothing, just added another day to the month of Bristol.
Person 1 "Hey man, what did you do Tuesday?"
Person 2. "Nothing, just added another day to the month of Bristol.
by Mattc85 January 17, 2014
Get the The month of Bristolmug. A very genuine and attractive man. Usually has light eyes and a super positive personality. He is very well hung. Very loyal, caring , and smart person. Is a very fashionable person and will always help you advice. Will always keep it real with you and tell you the truth. Women are always after his good looks and great appearance. Is a genuinely flirty person, but when in a relationship will cut off all other relationship ties.
by WHATISHAPPENINGRIGHTNOW March 2, 2020
Get the Bristolmug. 