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Cum Barnacles

The result of dried cum growing up into an actual creature, but is immobile
JIMMY: Why can't you clean your screen off? It's so dirty.
SEAN: The cum barnacles bite me whenever i try to clean it. Really fucking annoying.
by Afawoopster March 5, 2019
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Barnacles

The little fucking evil ass demons of the sea. They look like teeth with shells and they live on poor animals and rocks. If all barnacles were to go extinct then the world would be better off. I swear to fucking God. If I ever find a barnacle somewhere near me, we'll be having a fucking holocaust of the goddamn evil little demon shit heads.
My friend: Hey man, barnacles don't hurt humans.
Me: Fuck you and your bloodline. All barnacles need to be fucking deleted and destroyed. I will literally destroy the oceans to delete barnacles from life itself shit fecking hell I hate the damn toothy fucking shell cunts
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Barnacle

"Kayla Jo is the definition of a barnacle" - Nilsa from MTV's Florabama Shore
by hughmuffin97 December 15, 2017
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hairy barnacle

Basically a nipple.

Two things attached to your chest sorta like barnacles on a ship.... But they're hairy.
I have a third hairy barnacle....... wanna see?
by SlipperyGypsy01 November 29, 2017
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Bowl barnacle

An unrelenting morsel of fecal matter that refuses to loosen it's death grip on the toilet bowl's porcelain surface. It laughs in the face of repetitive flushing. Attempts to cleanse it via targeted urination are futile at best. It is a testament to the resilience of a well-formed stool. It is a beacon of undigested hope in an otherwise dark cave of despair. It is clingy, yet capable. It is...the bowl barnacle.
Just when Shehla thought she had readied the house for company, she discovered a large bowl barnacle left by her husband, Krisen in the guest bathroom.
by Kjizzy May 6, 2018
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Bowl barnacle

An unrelenting morsel of fecal matter that refuses to loosen it's death grip on the toilet bowl's porcelain surface. It laughs in the face of repetitive flushing. Attempts to cleanse it via targeted urination are futile at best. It is a testament to the resilience of a well-formed stool. It is a beacon of undigested hope in an otherwise dark cave of despair. It is clingy, yet capable. It is...the bowl barnacle.
Just when Shehla thought that she had readied the house for company, she discovered that her husband Krisen, after eating a bag of cheese curds, had left a large bowl barnacle in the guest bathroom toilet.
by Kjizzy May 6, 2018
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Bowl barnacle

An unrelenting morsel of fecal matter that refuses to loosen it's death grip on the toilet bowl's porcelain surface. It laughs in the face of repetitive flushing. Attempts to cleanse it via targeted urination are futile at best. It is a testament to the resilience of a well-formed stool. It is a beacon of undigested hope in an otherwise dark cave of despair. It is clingy, yet capable. It is...the bowl barnacle.
Just when she thought that she had readied their lavish Milwaukee loft for company, she discovered that her husband, after eating a bag of cheese curds, had left a large bowl barnacle in the guest bathroom toilet.
by Kjizzy February 24, 2018
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