Randy Newman

A musical genius and towering yet benevolent God amongst men, especially manlets. This universally venerated six-foot tall idol has a global cult following of manlets. The obsessed fanboy manlets are known to hold microscopic parades on his birthday and for the construction of elaborate statues of Saint Newman, as the stunted manlets affectionately call him, even going so far as to name their dwarfish offspring after him. Well-known, beloved and highly respected for his brilliant sense of humor and the profundity of his insight into important social issues, two of of Randy Newman's countless smash hits are "Short People" (the anthem of manletism) and "You've Got a Friend in Me" (unless you're a manlet).

Lol, why are those soaking wet manlets holding hands while lying in that tiny puddle over there? Randy Newman sometimes goes for a walk in this neighborhood. The besotted manlets have formed an improvised miniature pontoon bridge in eager anticipation of their hero's potential arrival. They have been floating there like that for hours now. The puddle must be like a lake to those utterly insignificant little manlet boys. Surely they will later frolic around and play grab-ass like the elfish fairies that they are. Hahahahaha!

by ManletDepreciator August 23, 2024

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Robert Newman

Robert is a social studies teacher at EHS. He's known for crashing out due to misophonia, watching AI presentations, and celebrating Christmas at his annual block party.

Robert Newman just gave me 90 pages of reading, I'm not doing all this.

by benalmon08 December 11, 2025

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