Your Mom

Is gay

Your Mom is gay

by hxsh-.- December 3, 2019

adderall mom

A mom who has "tamed down" over the years. She still wakes groggy in the morning but ends up bouncing her titties around by lunch. Don't ask her to help you with your homework, she may already have her pants off in the back yard. Occasionally she'll have revelations into her own situation that induce masses of emotion. She is really good at focusing on one thing at a time. She may or may not have 3 friends named Jarod.

I reconnected with an old friend and wanted to marry her. She is crazy and bites strangers on the street. We now have 3 children and is a functioning adderall mom. See "Adderall wife" - I get to see her 4 days a week when she isn't with one of her boyfriends.

by B00zey April 15, 2023

Soccer Mom

A white suburban mom, from 25 to 50 who refers to her kids as her “Precious Little Angels”, and shields them from reality constantly. They are not allowed to watch any movies rated over PG-13, and they can fuckin forget about watching any R-rated movies. Also not allowed to play any games not rated E. Also not allowed to interact with “the wrong crowd”. This includes, but is not limited to, anyone who isn’t white, anyone who isn’t a fundamentalist Christian, and anyone who doesn’t believe in right-wing bullshit. Also she automatically assumes that anything that isn’t Christian is either atheist or Satanic. She drives a “safe” 45 in a 70 mile per hour zone in her massive minivan or SUV to protect her “Precious Little Angels”, who are still in rear-facing carseats at ages 10 and 12. Usually also a Karen. Will often call the police when something doesn’t go her way or to discipline kids other than her own, and more often than not the cops are on this bitch’s side. If you see her, RUN AWAY AND GET AS FAR AWAY FROM HER AS POSSIBLE.

Me: WHAT THE FUCK BITCH? YOU WERE DRIVING FUCKING 45 ON A FUCKING HIGHWAY!
Soccer Mom: YOU WILL NOT USE SUCH LANGUAGE AROUND MY PERFECT LITTLE ANGELS! MY KIDS ARE HONOR ROLL STUDENTS AND GO TO CHURCH!
Me: YOU THINK I GIVE A SHIT? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH REPAIRS ARE GOING TO FUCKING COST?
SM: LANGUAGE AGAIN! HEY, WHY ARE YOU DRIVING A PRIUS LIKE AN ATHEIST INSTEAD OF A MINIVAN, SUV, OR TRUCK LIKE A CHRISTIAN, YOU LIBERAL HEATHEN!
Me: WHY DOES THAT FUCKING MATTER? YOU ARE GOING TO PAY FOR THE DAMAGE TO MY CAR!

SM: YOU WILL NOT YELL AT ME! AND IS THAT GTA ON THE FRONT SEAT? VIOLENT VIDEO GAMES ARE THE REASON WE HAVE MASS SHOOTINGS AND SERIAL KILLERS! IM CALLING THE POLICE! (calls 911)
(The police arrived and put me at fault when it was this bitch’s fault. Thank God I have a dashcam.)

by qw3r1y March 2, 2023

tristan's mom

milf-christian&tim

that lady over there is a milf
I know, thats Tristan's Mom

by christianissussypoopoo July 28, 2021

Ricky's Mom

Orange ginger mom
Single and is a free ride
She's a whale of a time

Ricky's mom is thick.

by John3Doe January 27, 2019

Your mom

A troll response

Reddit poster: What's your favorite thing to do during the winter?
Reddit commenter: Your mom

by frabrizio December 18, 2017

mom beer

Alcoholic beverages marketed toward older women that are neither wine nor hard liquor. Typically the packaging connotes simplicity or health, and includes pictures of fruit whether or not it is detectable in the taste.

A: I've got some hard seltzer in the fridge if you want one.
B: I'm not drinking mom beer.

by daisha September 5, 2019