Jerk off and smoke Newports

A figurative description of an attitude towards life, as well as your immediate and distant surroundings. When you refer to yourself or someone else 'just Jerking off and smoking Newports',, you are simply trying to convey that you/they are not letting anything current issue take their mind off themselves. It is the most self-absorbed and least constructive activity imaginable.
Once I get my pension, I am just gonna retreat to my apartment in Des Moines, and then I'm just gonna jerk off and smoke Newports until Yellowstone does us all in, THAT's my 5-year plan!

I tried to pursuade him to get more involved in student politics, but he just sits in his room jerking off and smoking Newports like these things don't affect him!
by how-young-people-talk March 31, 2020
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Inverse Circle Jerk

When a company's data is in such a mess that it requires accessing numerous systems to derive a result.
That Dealership is trying to pay people through an inverse circle jerk.
by infini4 January 20, 2020
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Jerking His Yert

He loved Jerking His Yert to his favorite OnlyFans accounts
by organcontainer April 01, 2020
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Pregame jerk

When you know you’re about to smash on some good poon but your also a 2 pump chump, you call for a bathroom break and rub one out to prolong your pipe game
Yo Donte I was bout to tag sum tail but knew I was done for so I called a pregame jerk and was able to hit that shit all night before spreading the sauce.
by Chopperindabag April 29, 2021
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DodecaHE-Jerk

When a man with multiple personality disorder has a wank and an episode at the same time and gets through 12 personalities before cumming on his grandma while yelling “BY THE POWER OF CUM ON YOUR GREYSKULL
My mum caught me having a dodecaHE-jerk yesterday…. I say “caught me” but it was all nans idea.
by Lingtora August 13, 2024
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DodecaHE-Jerk

When a man with multiple personality disorder has a wank and an episode at the same time and gets through 12 personalities before cumming on his grandma while yelling “BY THE POWER OF CUM ON YOUR GREYSKULL
My mum caught me having a dodecaHE-jerk yesterday… I say “caught me” but it was all nans idea.
by Lingtora August 13, 2024
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