Everyone is Twelve Now

A social theory describing the phenomenon where adults in American society display the emotional maturity, decision-making skills, and behavioral patterns of twelve-year-olds.

Origin: Coined by Patrick Cosmos (@veryimportant.lawyer on Bluesky) as a "unified theory of American reality" that went viral on social media in 2025.

Example 1: "Did you see how that guy threw a tantrum when his coffee order was wrong? Everyone is twelve now."

Example 2: "'Everyone is twelve now', she complained, when in response to HuffPost’s query about who suggested Budapest, White House press secretary Karoline Leavitt responded, 'Your mom did', and White House communications director Steven Cheung replied: 'Your mom'."

by patchmonkey October 17, 2025

Twelve O One

Describes a black person who’s darker than midnight.

Man you’re twelve o one! Huh? You’re darker than midnight Tyrone!

by Patriot1975 March 9, 2019

Horseyback Rhymes: The Tumbling Twelve

A movie about the creator’s fetish for women getting injured in Jack and Jill style nursery rhyme accidents. Plays out in the form of a realistic animated storybook. Its a film about a fetish but it’s rated PG-13 for injury detail and nudity.

Person watching the movie: Is this movie just women getting injured in the form of a musical storybook?! What the fuck, I thought this was a sexy romance movie but it’s a horror! *checks the rating of Horseyback Rhymes: The Tumbling Twelve* PG-13?!!!!!! HOW THE FUCK IS THIS ONLY PG-13 WHEN ITS ABOUT WOMEN FALLING DOWN STAIRS AND THE CREATOR OF THE FILM JACKS OFF TO IT!!!!!

by Nion_YT January 4, 2024

one-eleven-twelve

a type of fighting move similar to left right uppercut

give him a one-eleven-twelve

by catboy 2112 May 17, 2021

twelve days of tabi

tabitha jayde’s birthday is november 12, therefore we celebrate the 12 days of tabi by giving her 12 gifts, one each day.

i’m on my way to tabi’s house to give her her twelve days of tabi gift.

by sexyhoe72 November 2, 2020

seven-foot twelve

A more fun way to say eight-foot

Why do you have to be seven-foot twelve, dude?

by 413XN0$!C May 11, 2018

Twelve O'Clock Redeye

Putting salt in the nose, taking a drink, and putting lime juice in the eye.

A dare to conduct a twelve o'clock redeye

by slang_1 December 28, 2014