The Quarantine Time Paradox 

The laws of the space and time continuum do not apply to the universe during quarantine. 'Time' is in league with the coronavirus and deliberately shits itself every now and then in an effort to fuck your brain up even more than it already is.

March 5 : *blinks*
April 21: *opens*
Me: "Holy fuckermoli what happened in the last month"
Friend: "Couldn't tell you mate, The Quarantine Time Paradox is playing tricks on us again"

The Quarantine Time Paradox by monkeykaka April 20, 2020

Flat Sparkling Water Paradox 

The Flat Sparkling Water Paradox is a VERY well known hypothesis that the only true way to describe sparkling water is by describing it as flat water.

Which some people would just say is still water but they would in fact be incorrect. This is because despite the flat taste of sparkling water, it is still carbonated, therefore, meaning it is still sparkling water.

So as a result of this carbonated beverage tasting flat we come to the understanding that this is indeed the Flat Sparkling Water Paradox.

Friend 1: This sparkling water tastes awful, it just tastes like flat water.

Friend 2: That makes no sense but also hundreds of sense at the same time.

Friend 1: Wow that sounds like some real Flat Sparkling Water Paradox

Flat Sparkling Water Paradox by SparklingWaterResearcher May 16, 2022

The Sammy Hagar Paradox

First seen in his song entitled "I Can't Drive 55" it describes the notion that it is physically impossible for Sammy Hagar to travel at the speed of 55 mph (miles per hour). No matter what mode of transportation whether it is a car, bike, airplane, etc, it is impossible for him to travel exactly 55 mph. The speedometer on any transportation device that Sammy Hagar occupies will never read the speed of 55 mph. Instead it will skip over 55 mph to 56 mph or 54 mph (depending on whether the vehicle is increasing or deceasing speed). Therefore, it is thought that perhaps Sammy Hagar possesses some power that allows him to bend time and space to his will, but only at the speed of 55 mph. This act of bending time and space is currently being researched by Professor Stephen Hawking the British theoretical physicist.

I saw Sammy Hagar today in his car with one foot on the brake and one on the gas and i swear that he couldn't go 55 mph...its that damn Sammy Hagar Paradox

A simple fun game to play with The Sammy Hagar Paradox is whenever you are traveling and see a speed limit sign of 55 mph you must be the first to yell "I can't drive 55!"... don't worry everyone wins because it is The Sammy Hagar Paradox

Whenever Sammy Hagar looks at a 55 mph speed limit sign it spontaneously combust

You can take Sammy Hagar's licence and post his face, wanted dead or alive, but it doesn't matter because he can't drive 55

The Sammy Hagar Paradox by El Oso Blanco June 26, 2010

Feeling paradox 

It is when a person feels he should do something, yet he wants to do the opposite. Or when his body is telling him to do something, but he doesn't want to obey it. Examples when you are hungry or thirsty even though you are full. or when you are dead tired, yet you don't feel like sleeping.

Man 1: Woooa, i am really tired
Man 2: Why don't you go to sleep
Man 1: I don't feel like it
Man 2: Dude, you are having a feeling paradox

Feeling paradox by Slvador Limonis August 10, 2012

NBA paradox 

NBA paradox references the paradoxical notion that any disparity in a organization's racial composition is the result of systemic racism and/or discriminatory practices. This is the underlying justification for affirmative action and selective, race-based scholarships, grants ect.. An example would be: Because there are proportionally less African American Neurosurgeons than White Neurosurgeons, there must be some form of discrimination preventing African Americans from becoming Neurosurgeons, and to correct this injustice, we should target and support recruiting-efforts for African American Neurosurgeons. The paradox is to look at organizations that are disproportionately African American, such as the NBA. No one believes that discrimination prevents Whites from playing in the NBA, and most conclude that the disparity is due to African Americans having greater skill in this area. But accepting this idea is to also accept that disparities across race can be due to legitimate differences in skill, which are race-dependent. This conflicts with the dogma described above and is a paradox. This paradox is also sometimes used to reference the fact that most of those calling for change in racial-disparities through the active discrimination of other races, are usually serving their own race or will not be affected by the discrimination.

The NBA paradox tells us why constantly trying to socially-correct racial disparities can lead to real discrimination.

NBA paradox by Logical_ID August 21, 2018

Bootstrap Paradox

The Bootstrap Paradox is a theoretical paradox of time travel that occurs when an object or piece of information sent back in time becomes trapped within an infinite cause-effect loop in which the item no longer has a discernible point of origin, and is said to be “uncaused” or “self-created”.

A time traveller who was a big fan of Beethoven goes back in time to 18th century Germany to search for Beethoven for an autograph. Upon reaching the destination, the time traveller cannot find Beethoven anywhere, not even Beethoven's family have heard of him. Not being able to bear the thought of a world without Beethoven's music, the time traveller coincidently has all of Beethoven's sheet music, he copies it up and publishes it. The time traveller has become Beethoven and the timeline resumes as usual, this is what we call a Bootstrap Paradox.

Bootstrap Paradox by Driptual November 17, 2019

Plankton Paradox 

One who makes overly complex schemes while unable to do the bare minimum tasks in life

Look at this guy going through a plankton paradox, he wants to take over the world yet can barely do the dishes by himself!

Plankton Paradox by Hurble lurble durble March 30, 2020