Clarinet

The clarinet is the best instrument in the band, and the one with the most parts to put together. The clarinets are usually always the band director's favorite section because they actually LEARN their part and don't talk while the director's talking (unlike the trumpets), and listen to the director, unlike the percussionists.

Band Director: Thank you clarinets for actually learning your parts to the music and practicing, UNLIKE EVERYBODY ELSE. (saying "UNLIKE EVERBODY ELSE" louder so everybody else can hear him.)
Clarinets: *Sitting there, feeling super proud*
The rest of the band: *Feeling guilty for not practicing and learning the music*

by Dance_Softball_Gurl December 27, 2021

ghetto clarinet

A sex act in which a man inserts a kazoo into his rectum while his partner takes the tip of the man's penis into his or her mouth and mimes playing a clarinet. The man should do his best to fart out a tune while making sure not to shit into the kazoo.

Did you see Tara at last night's party? She played 'Oh When the Saints Go Marching In' on Billy's ghetto clarinet.

by Smelly Randolph March 17, 2016

Big Clarinet

Another word for oboe

Oboe? I think he means the Big Clarinet

by Danad Tump November 9, 2016

Pork clarinet

a penis

"I'm going home to watch porn. I'll play a tune on my pork clarinet."

by IvorBiggunFan March 23, 2024

Clarinet

The most gay and annoying instrument out there. People only play it because they are small and cheap.

"Hey, lets go kill a clarinet."

by dumbassmoron December 12, 2019

octocontrabass clarinet

Not much is known about this instrument. It is pitched 1 octave below the contrabass clarinet, two octaves below the bass clarinet, and three octaves below the Bb clarinet. Its lowest note is one octave below one of the lowest notes on the piano, and it is no longer in use as the only model for it is broken beyond repair. It is also the REAL lowest woodwind, and battles for the lowest note obtained with an instrument with the 64’ stop organ. Plays into the -1 octave range.

Holy crud! Is that a octocontrabass clarinet?

I thought it is unable to be played!

by Instrument definer June 11, 2021

Bass Clarinet

NOT a saxophone!!

Football player 1: what instrument is that?
Football player 2: I think it’s a saxophone...
Drum major: *throws baton* NOT a SaXiPhOnE!

Me: Bass Clarinet!
Football player 1: what the heak is that?

by Emmadilemma1305 March 20, 2019