A Reading from the Book of Armaments, Chapter 4, Verses 16 to 20:
Then did he raise on high the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch, saying, "Bless this, O Lord, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy." And the people did rejoice and did feast upon the lambs and toads and tree-sloths and fruit-bats and orangutans and breakfast cereals ... Now did the Lord say, "First thou pullest the Holy Pin. Then thou must count to three. Three shall be the number of the counting and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither shalt thou count two, excepting that thou then proceedeth to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the number of the counting, be reached, then lobbest thou the Holy Hand Grenade in the direction of thine foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it."
Then did he raise on high the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch, saying, "Bless this, O Lord, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy." And the people did rejoice and did feast upon the lambs and toads and tree-sloths and fruit-bats and orangutans and breakfast cereals ... Now did the Lord say, "First thou pullest the Holy Pin. Then thou must count to three. Three shall be the number of the counting and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither shalt thou count two, excepting that thou then proceedeth to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the number of the counting, be reached, then lobbest thou the Holy Hand Grenade in the direction of thine foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it."
by dip July 19, 2004
Get the The Holy Hand Grenade of Antiochmug. by bttfboy March 14, 2016
Get the ho ho holy shitmug. Excert from monty python and the holy grail:
One day, lad, all this will be yours!
What, the curtains?
No. Not the curtains, lad. All that you can see, stretched out over the hills and valleys of this land! This'll be your kingdom, lad.
But Mother--
Father, lad. Father.
B-- b-- but Father, I don't want any of that.
Listen, lad. I built this kingdom up from nothing. When I started here, all there was was swamp. Other kings said I was daft to build a castle on a swamp, but I built it all the same, just to show 'em. It sank into the swamp. So, I built a second one. That sank into the swamp. So, I built a third one. That burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp, but the fourth one... stayed up! And that's what you're gonna get, lad: the strongest castle in these islands.
But I don't want any of that. I'd rather--
Rather what?!
I'd rather...
music
...just... sing!
Stop that! Stop that! You're not going into a song while I'm here. Now listen, lad. In twenty minutes, you're getting married to a girl whose father owns the biggest tracts of open land in Britain.
B-- but I don't want land.
Listen, Alice,--
Herbert.
'Erbert. We live in a bloody swamp. We need all the land we can get.
But-- but I don't like her.
Don't like her?! What's wrong with her?! She's beautiful. She's rich. She's got huge... tracts o' land!
I know, but I want the-- the girl that I marry to have...
music
...a certain,... special... something!
Cut that out! Cut that out! Look, you're marrying Princess Lucky, so you'd better get used to the idea!
smack
One day, lad, all this will be yours!
What, the curtains?
No. Not the curtains, lad. All that you can see, stretched out over the hills and valleys of this land! This'll be your kingdom, lad.
But Mother--
Father, lad. Father.
B-- b-- but Father, I don't want any of that.
Listen, lad. I built this kingdom up from nothing. When I started here, all there was was swamp. Other kings said I was daft to build a castle on a swamp, but I built it all the same, just to show 'em. It sank into the swamp. So, I built a second one. That sank into the swamp. So, I built a third one. That burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp, but the fourth one... stayed up! And that's what you're gonna get, lad: the strongest castle in these islands.
But I don't want any of that. I'd rather--
Rather what?!
I'd rather...
music
...just... sing!
Stop that! Stop that! You're not going into a song while I'm here. Now listen, lad. In twenty minutes, you're getting married to a girl whose father owns the biggest tracts of open land in Britain.
B-- but I don't want land.
Listen, Alice,--
Herbert.
'Erbert. We live in a bloody swamp. We need all the land we can get.
But-- but I don't like her.
Don't like her?! What's wrong with her?! She's beautiful. She's rich. She's got huge... tracts o' land!
I know, but I want the-- the girl that I marry to have...
music
...a certain,... special... something!
Cut that out! Cut that out! Look, you're marrying Princess Lucky, so you'd better get used to the idea!
smack
by le fromage May 19, 2006
Get the monty python and the holy grailmug. by MDiver July 4, 2012
Get the Holy Crap O Ramamug. "how do you know she is a witch"
"She looks like one"
"I'm not a witch! I'M not a witch! They dressed me up like this and this isn't my nose it's a false one."
"I see. Eh.. Did you dress her up like this?"
"Well, nose a bit. Yeah a bit."
"Tell me. What do you do with witches?"
"Burn them! Burn!"
"And then why do witches burn. Hmmm.."
"Because they're, made of wood?"
"So how do you tell if she is made of wood?"
"Eh.. Build a bridge out of 'er"
"But can not you also build bridges out of stone?"
"Oh yeah"
"Does wood sink in water?"
"No no it floats. Throw her into the pond!"
"Wait! What also floats in water?"
"Umm.. very small rocks. churches. lead!"
"A duck"
"presicly!"
"So logically.."
"If she weighs the same as a duck, then shes made outta wood."
"And therefore"
"She's a witch!"
"She looks like one"
"I'm not a witch! I'M not a witch! They dressed me up like this and this isn't my nose it's a false one."
"I see. Eh.. Did you dress her up like this?"
"Well, nose a bit. Yeah a bit."
"Tell me. What do you do with witches?"
"Burn them! Burn!"
"And then why do witches burn. Hmmm.."
"Because they're, made of wood?"
"So how do you tell if she is made of wood?"
"Eh.. Build a bridge out of 'er"
"But can not you also build bridges out of stone?"
"Oh yeah"
"Does wood sink in water?"
"No no it floats. Throw her into the pond!"
"Wait! What also floats in water?"
"Umm.. very small rocks. churches. lead!"
"A duck"
"presicly!"
"So logically.."
"If she weighs the same as a duck, then shes made outta wood."
"And therefore"
"She's a witch!"
by Tom Bombadillo June 29, 2005
Get the Monty Python and the Holy Grailmug. The key to a ghost job is inside the holy grail. outside the cave where indiana jones killed the nazis in indiana jones and the last crusade is the holy grail (Here is why the nazi's wanted the chest..supposedly Hitler wanted it). Inside the golden chest there is a white sheet, the main ingredient in the Geej. This sheet is a Ghost hunters main weapon in order to become a ghost buster and the picture evidence to not be a Danny Phantom, (poser). But the holy grail of all jobs is the ghost job.
God: I Place Thy sheet into the holy grail, so that a lucky ghost hunter can ghost bust a ho. This Job is the holy grail of all jobs. I here by send thy chest down onto the Earth.
The holy grail, holding the sacred sheet has not been found.
The holy grail, holding the sacred sheet has not been found.
by Dr. Cock pHD. December 27, 2011
Get the Holy grail of all jobsmug. when you have no idea someone is crippled and you invite them to play baseball for your team and he comes to the field in a wheel chair
by jesus was a hirotic February 24, 2009
Get the holy crip its a crapplemug.