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Weird as a monkey's beard

When something is just too weird, and the only way to describe it is that of a beard attached to a monkeys face.
Can you believe Shangela eats sofa cushions on the reg? That's weird as a monkey's beard!
by Dr. Hand May 22, 2024
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Bearded Space Clam

Bro, Sherri has a bearded space clam!
by Spacedust June 22, 2024
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Dwarvish Beard

When you're rimming a girl and you get your beard covered in discharge getting it all matted and wet.
God Alex looks like your Mrs gave you a proper Dwarvish beard last night, haven't you showed?!
by Remote Aardvark September 2, 2016
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Ham Beard

A Ham Beard can be identified as a beard with an unacceptable amount of hair on it. So when eating, a piece of table food may fall into the beard without the person knowing it. Like a piece of holiday ham.
Dan has a disgusting Ham Beard
by shesaidshewas18 January 9, 2010
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Beard king

Beard King is the name bestowed upon the great King of Chin Hair, the Ruler of all that flows follically, the Master of Manicured Man Hair. He is the greatest example of Beardness ever known. He. Is. Eric.
Eric has been Beard King since 2016, his reign has been historic.
by The BeardKing June 7, 2021
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Tommen's Beard

An adjective to describe something of such low effort and low quality, you call it Tommen's Beard.

This is in reference to the TV show the Acolyte, in which the actor who played King Tommen in Game of Thrones plays a Jedi with a horrible looking, glue-on beard.
"That entire show was Tommen's Beard."

"Zoomer hairstyles are all so Tommen's Beard."

"Those truck mods are Tommen's Beard."
by Murderous Yorkie June 25, 2024
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shucking the bearded clam

The act of inserting ones fingers into the hairy vaginal orrifice of a female. Usually two to three fingers are inserted, although, depending on females' orrifice diameter, more fingers may be necessary. Normally fingers are held in a hook style position and rammed in and out at a pace intended to pleasure said female and aid her in becoming moist.
Jim and Eric where discussing the activities of the previous night.

Jim: Dude, that party was crazy last night! I

Know you were totally wasted. I saw you

disappear with that chick at like 3am.

You hit that son?
Eric: Yea dude it was awesome, i took her in

back room and smashed it. She was

ready to go after I got done shucking the bearded clam.

Jim: That's what's up man! So the puss was

nice and hairy Huh?
Eric: It was hairy, but I was too far gone to give

A fuck. I just needed to drain my balls.
by FairladyZ February 4, 2015
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