bearded squid

When your drunk buddy goes down to Naples, FL and picks up a 57 year old devorcee to her $1mm+ home and you throw up in her master bathroom and ruin the planned three sim and then just the eat her out the rest of the night.
Hey Andy took that GIILF back to Pelican Bay and gave her the bearded squid.
by toomuchfist February 10, 2018
Get the bearded squid mug.

beard diving

When you are hunting for a fuckboy in a midwest state.
"Drop me off at this dive karaoke bar in Denver; I'm going beard diving."
by thatguyyoumetatthatthing February 17, 2018
Get the beard diving mug.

soft-bearded man

A man or manchild(usually a millennial) that has a beard but most likely gets it trimmed weekly. This man gets offended very easily, and violently opposes hate speech. He would not dare use his hands for manual labor or for properly pleasing a woman. He is a feminist, his wife makes more money than him, and he hates white privilege.
"Hey I heard Lumberjack Leslie has to ask his wife before he does anything!" "Yeah, he's a soft-bearded man."
by Scranton Strangler March 27, 2018
Get the soft-bearded man mug.

Chronic beard burn

When making out with a man who has scruff or a beard and it results in a burn on your chin.
Kristen I can tell you made out with someone last night because of your chronic beard burn
by I love my dogs November 10, 2019
Get the Chronic beard burn mug.

beard scrum

A nasty residue of beard oils that have turned into a lard-like substance.
You have some serious beard scrum.
You better wash your face, you have beard scrum.
Hey, your beard scrum is showing!
by XTremeSue Purglew November 02, 2015
Get the beard scrum mug.

lockdown beard

A phenomenon that occurred over the majority of 2020 where people have grown beards during their time in lockdown during the COVID-19 pandemic (either because they wanted to try a new look, couldn't be bothered to shave or a combination of the two).
"I haven't done much during the last few months, just grew a lockdown beard and that's about it.
by WatcherMark November 04, 2020
Get the lockdown beard mug.

Bearded Puss

When you reach down her pants and feel her bush but it feels like your beard
You her bush straight up felt like my beard, it was like a bearded puss... that's why I shaved last night
by TheDankestOfMemeDealers2.0 August 27, 2018
Get the Bearded Puss mug.