Jesus tv

Television program dedicated to teaching the "word of god". Televangelism

I'm watching this great preacher on the Jesus tv channel.

by Decimator June 28, 2011

Ruckus and Jesus

When your in the middle of fucking and realize that you are not holy and Jesus would not want you fucking for pleasure

Damn I was having the best sex of my life until I thought about Jesus. I guess I was hit with the Ruckus and Jesus

by Fidget spinner licker April 1, 2019

Jesus in a wheelchair?

When about to hell JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!!! out of rage but realizing you are surrounded by Bible beaters, and quickly changing it to something else as not to be forced to listen to eighty bible verses to compensate for you sins.

Gay 1 (During intense super smash brothers ultimate for nintendo switch match) "JESUS IN A WHEELCHAIR?!?!?'d be funny right?"

Gay 2 "I guess it'd be funny?"

by Archduke of Douchebags May 16, 2019

Jesus Whompper

Kids with blue eyes and blonde hair, who's parents may have the same trait, and come from the south and brag about how awesome jesus is, even though deep down their awful people.

That new kid from georia is such a Jesus Whompper. He said Jesus loves everyone just before he laughed at the mentally challenged kids.

by carlitohasballs April 7, 2009

Dribble jesus

An absolute G at playing ball (basketball)

Person A: “Good buckets out there’s man!”
Person B: “they call me dribble jesus for a reason.”

by Keepurselfsafe August 30, 2018

smoke Jesus

A joint rolled with a piece of paper from the Bible and the filter is a thicker piece of paper also from the Bible.

Or a joint or two that have the form of a cross.

Don’t just smoke weed smoke JESUS

by Jxhnny_Gxddamn August 6, 2019

Jesus queef

The holy queef. The expulsion of holy water from jesus’ pussy.

Oh my that was quite the holy queef. One could say its a jesus queef.

by TheRealModernDayShakespeare281 March 30, 2022