another way to say "only if the grass is cut". Refers to cunnilungus. it means only if her pubic hairs our trimmed or completely removed will her sexual partner engage in cunnilungus.
Chick: Hey boo you shud come over tonight
Dude: Oh for shure babe
Chick: You gonn lick my clit?
Dude: Hell yeah babe, but i dont munch carpets.. i only wax wooden floors
Chick: I aint got no fur
Dude: aiight then imma be there in a minute.
by DykeTurner January 11, 2012
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When during sex you administer a Donkey Punch so hard chocolate comes out, similar to novelty wooden donkeys that defecate candy.
When I gave her a Wooden Donkey Punch, it was raining chocolate.
by uramisan August 18, 2010
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A tree limb or a portion of a tree limb that looks rather like a dick and balls.
Scotty pulled out his wooden wally wally out of his back pocket and hit David up side his head.
by Marvel Xavier November 20, 2006
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a weapon used to obliderate noobs in everyday life, not to be used for the faint of heart; this is a devistating weapon used to pwn the noobiest of noobs not for use of anyone under 21

yes this is real...
nate- erik.
erik- wut
nate- see that noob over there
erik- yes.
nate- watch this
erik- ok..
nate- WOODEN THUNDER!!1!!!!!11!!11!!!
andrew bowler(noob)- ahhhhhhhhhhhh
andrew bowler(noob)- (dead/pwned)
by not nate November 24, 2007
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Right before ejackulation pull out and sit on the females stomach, lay a board or baseball bat across her chest and see if you can ejackulate over it.
I gave that girl the best old wooden cross of her life.
by TC SMITH May 9, 2008
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If a girl is checking you out from across the dance floor, the proper banter response to the lads about the perp is "she's not got wooden eyes'
Sexy girl across the dance floor, she checks you out, you say au naturalment, 'she's not got wooden eyes'
by DiogenesofLondon April 25, 2011
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