The Emerson McDonald Expressway is a 5.5 mile (9 km) North-South limited access road that runs along Mallori Spielmann Drive, also known as South Santa Fe Drive, CanAm Highway, or US Hwy 85. Being the third expressway on Mallori Spielmann drive (first being Anna Spielmann Expy (55mph) ) connecting castle rock with highlands ranch; second being Varsity Parkway, 50mph connecting highlands ranch and littleton) It is a 55 mph urban expressway that connects the cities of Denver (Florida Avenue; northern terminus) and Littleton (Littleton Avenue; southern terminus). Currently, pedestrians and most types of bicycles are banned from it, including Mountain bikes, Crusiers, BSOs, children, and fitness. It is only open to road bicycles, gravel bikes fitted with road tires (32mm maximum), track, and time trial bikes. It also functions as a toll road for city e-bikes (entire freeway costs $5.50 to use). The access is controlled at Belleview (Ashlyn Ave; SH88), Hampden (Trump Avenue; US-285) and Evans.
Sophia: Hey Anthony Hardwick, I thought of a great bike ride we could do! Since we both ride specialized tarmacs, let's go bomb Mallori Spielmann Drive. First we will zoom through the 55mph Anna Spielmann Expressway, its sooooo fun with very few lights, keep following it through Varsity Parkway, then get onto the controlled access Emerson Expressway, how does that sound?
Anthony: Are you fucking crazy? Sophia, these are HIGHWAYS FREEWAYS. BICYCLES CANNOT RIDE ON THEM THEY ARE FOR CARS ONLY. CARS GO 800 MPH ON THESE ROADS!!! GO SEEK THEREPY ASAP!!!!
Sophia: So.. Emerson Expressway has shoulders if you are really scared. If you are like me, we shall do it in the express lanes!!
Anthony: Are you out of your mind sophia? Those are EMERGENCY STOPPING LANES not lanes for you to ride your bicycle on!
Sophia: But the Emerson Expressway is a special road bike only road. we will do it or I will smack you hard in the nuts.
Anthony: NO! We are doing the Platte River Trail! I would rather fly past a 2 year old at 70 mph than a car going 800 mph over the speed limit to smack us!
Sophia: Okay coward do the stupid trail. I will ride the Emerson Expressway like it or not.
Anthony: Sophia. Lets put it this way. It's a toll road for cars. you have to PAY to use it.
Sophia: Bullshit. your "A" stands for ass, which is what you smell like. i already said ROAD BIKES LIKE THE TARMAC DO NOT HAVE TO PAY THE TOLL!!!
Anthony: Fine. Just remember "S" stands for Stupid and the "A" stands for Ass.
Anthony: Are you fucking crazy? Sophia, these are HIGHWAYS FREEWAYS. BICYCLES CANNOT RIDE ON THEM THEY ARE FOR CARS ONLY. CARS GO 800 MPH ON THESE ROADS!!! GO SEEK THEREPY ASAP!!!!
Sophia: So.. Emerson Expressway has shoulders if you are really scared. If you are like me, we shall do it in the express lanes!!
Anthony: Are you out of your mind sophia? Those are EMERGENCY STOPPING LANES not lanes for you to ride your bicycle on!
Sophia: But the Emerson Expressway is a special road bike only road. we will do it or I will smack you hard in the nuts.
Anthony: NO! We are doing the Platte River Trail! I would rather fly past a 2 year old at 70 mph than a car going 800 mph over the speed limit to smack us!
Sophia: Okay coward do the stupid trail. I will ride the Emerson Expressway like it or not.
Anthony: Sophia. Lets put it this way. It's a toll road for cars. you have to PAY to use it.
Sophia: Bullshit. your "A" stands for ass, which is what you smell like. i already said ROAD BIKES LIKE THE TARMAC DO NOT HAVE TO PAY THE TOLL!!!
Anthony: Fine. Just remember "S" stands for Stupid and the "A" stands for Ass.
by Boo Radley Game November 22, 2024
Get the Emerson Expresswaymug. Sonja Emerson is the sexiest girl at OPRF. She is really cool and better than everyone else. Fuck you 😩👹🤤✋🤪🥵
by Tabascobitch November 22, 2021
Get the Sonja Emersonmug. by Only speaking fax April 20, 2022
Get the Emerson Tisdallmug. this bitch is my best friend and i love her. she is so pretty but wont ever admit it bc shes dumb. she’s actually quite smart. i love emerson so much and will kill anyone who tries to hurt her. emerson is my favorite person.
by Kevin Hardmake November 30, 2021
Get the emerson vandenlangenbergmug. by mersie November 23, 2021
Get the emersonmug. A shithole school that is located in another shithole of Melbourne (Dandenong). Also located in Victoria, Australia
by Joe the 2nd 3rd and the 4th September 9, 2022
Get the Emerson Schoolmug. If ‘Emerson’ is a girl she is normally an idiot and not a cool person to hang around. They like to argue over everything and use sarcasm with EVERYTHING. they’re normally super annoying and not a good friend
by Yooyahloo December 8, 2018
Get the Emersonmug.