Paraletic Wanking

Wanking whilst paralertic.

Martini: So, what did you do after you got in last night?

Palmer: Wel, I was paraletic wanking.

Martini: Gooooooooood?

Palmer: Real goooood.

by Real sound February 16, 2009

Dirty Wank

An act of masturbating over the thought of sodomising someone with an ugly face but a great arse.

I had the best dirty wank over my geography teacher last night.

by pervv September 14, 2010

Sleep Wanking

The act of ingesting an entire bottle of sleeping pills and then attempting to whack off before falling asleep.

Martyn: You guys ever tried sleep wanking?
Zach: Yeah! It's great cause you always win
Steven: Unfortunately you can never stay awake long enough to clean up the mess...
Lads: Aye!

by Martyn with a 'y ' bitches August 23, 2008

wank-run

When you measure the length of your wank stroke and multiply this by the average strokes per masterbation session. This gives you the total distance you have to rub over you dick to achieve a hot steamy creamy ejaculation.

Note: Derived from wind-run which is the average distance meteorologists measure the length gusts of wind blow over.

While using the hot-shots radar gun and pretending to wank, the scatman recorded a velocity of 3 m/s. Therefore, multiplying this by an average wank time of 30 minutes, or 1800 seconds gives a wank-run of 5400 m. A pretty impressive wank-run compared to my premature ejaculation which gives my only a wank run of 20 metres.

by Kbud November 13, 2007

wank race

A wank race is when when numerous gentleman tug on their man sticks to see who cums first. The loser has to swallow the evidence from all involved

Let's have a wank race and make the loser eat cum

by ballsywaiter March 9, 2014

circus wank

Masturbating so that you ejaculate into your own mouth.

Of course I've never tasted my own man juice, do you think I circus wank?

by Steve the Snake January 15, 2008

asphixiation wank

hanging yourself and trying to cum before you die

dude wheres james ??

i dont know probably had an asphixiation wank

by elliott w February 4, 2009